2009 in review

Wow it's been a crazy year. We got pregnant for the fourth time in January, we graduated in August and began seminary, had our Mackenzie Grace in September, and it has been a bit of a blur since then lol. We have made amazing lifelong friends this year. I am so thankful for those we have met. Some on our same path, others not but I know we will continue our friendship. We have some fun plans with the girls this evening so I need to clean my house from traveling so I should get off here now. But thank you to those who have read this year and prayed with us and for us. Have a blessed New Year!!!!

Travel woes

For the first time this year, we traveled for the holidays. While we had a good time, the drive was looooong! Ainsley and Renah did wonderfully thanks to Santa coming early and bringing portable DVD players. The drive home took two days due to a tire blowing on the trailer we borrowed from Wade's parents in the middle of no where at 930 at night. That was a fun adventure to say the least. But praise God we were all safe and mostly kept our cool ;) We finally got home yesterday and haven't done much today. That's about all for now but I hope you all had a great Christmas!

It's beginning to look a lot like...mud I do live in Cleveland you know!

Oh the rain, the rain that will not go away. That is not what I'm talking about today but really it rains here all the time! Yesterday was Dec 1, and the Christmas festivities started! Last night was our staff/deacon Christmas party. Tonight is church but first a Christmas luncheon for Chaplain candidates and wives, tomorrow is a party, Friday a party, Saturday we are hosting a cookie and ornament swap - so excited! and Monday is a party. Holy cow that is a lot of Christmas cheer!
I am supposed to be writing a paper right now but felt like blogging first. I am also supposed to be studying for finals next week!
This is Mackenzie's first Christmas and I am so excited. I know that after we lost Mishael, I got pregnant very quickly. In some ways it made it harder, but I felt that with the milestones that we would go through, I needed to be pregnant. Last Christmas was hard but I knew had he not died, I wouldn't have had a baby at Christmas anyway, but this Christmas I would have and praise God I do.
Part of me feels guilty that get pregnant so easily when so many people we know struggle. I praise God that I am able to conceive with such ease. But this year I really want to remember and pray for those who want those babies and for whatever reason can't have them. To see the look in a child's eyes Christmas morning is priceless and I want my friends who have that desire for those babies to experience that look as well.
This post got a little deeper than I planned but that's ok, if you have read this, say a prayer for those who are struggling with infertility. Well, I really have to get to work on my paper. I hope you have great day and take a few minutes out of your busy day to enjoy the season!

Thanksgiving

This is my favorite holiday. It is a time to gather with loved ones without feeling the present pressure! This year we are going to a friends house this afternoon to visit then to another friends house for dinner. I am a little sad not to be hosting at our house because I love hosting! I am thankful this year for many things. I am thankful for my Savior who takes care of me and loves me, I am thankful for my husband. He is such a great guy and loves me more than I deserve! I am thankful for my girls. They are all so special and sweet. I am so thankful to be a mom! I am thankful that this year when I left the hospital I was able to hold that sweet bundle in my arms not just in my heart. I am thankful for the house we live in and the car we drive. I am thankful Wade and I were able to graduate this year and begin our master's. The list goes on but I want to say thank you as well to our great friends who love us, pray for us and support us.

I'm still here

Things have been pretty busy around here lately. I have about 3 weeks left in this semester so I'm having to get a lot done for that. We went to the pumpkin patch a couple of weeks ago and for the first year since we have been going, it was actually fall! We went last weekend to Gatlinburg for a staff retreat with church. Wade's sister came last Friday so she kept Ainsley and Renah Friday night so we could go. We were going to come home to take the girls trick or treating Saturday but decided to have her bring the girls up and go trick or treating in Gatlinburg. We had such a good time and decided to make it an annual trip. Mackenzie is growing way too fast. If I had my way, she would be a newborn for a year. I have been overwhelmed lately with trying to be superwoman. Wade tells me all the time I am doing a great job, but I do wish I had a few more hours in a day to get more done. I am trying so hard but am so tired. This is the first time I have sat down to read my blogs much less write one. I am trying to give cut myself some slack but I know I will always try to do mor than I can. I hope you are having a great week and try to cut yourself some slack too!

One year

Today is another one of those milestones I have dreaded. This is the one year anniversary of us finding out Mishael, our son, died. It is bitter sweet as I look at my beautiful daughter, knowing she would not exist had this day last year not happened.
Today also marks the National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss. So when I am grieving for my son, I know there are so many other mothers that are experiencing my pain. If you think about it, take a few minutes to pray for those of us grieving and remembering and to praise God for the babies who are safe and healthy.

Can't expect much on little sleep!

I haven't meant to ignore my blog but I have been a bit busy and sleep deprived. Mackenzie is such an easy going baby. The girls are so in love with her. We had her first doctor's appt on Monday. She is not back up to birth weight yet and according to their scale she has lost weight since leaving the hospital, so I may have to start supplementing with formula soon. I take her for another weigh in Monday and if she hasn't put the weight back on I have to. I have never been able to fully breast feed and I am trying so hard but I'm afraid I still don't have enough milk.
She has been to my classes with me and is so good, most people forget she is there. She doesn't however like to sleep in her bassinet. She is fine in our arms, the bouncy seat, or the boppy but the bassinet is flat and doesn't hold her close so she hates it! Well that is it for tonight she has a gassy tummy so I need to help her. Have a good evening!

Mackenzie Grace

I got home a few hours ago. Wade and Ainsley are at the store, Renah and Mackenzie are sleeping so I thought I would post some pictures. She is an amazing baby and I am so thankful for her and her sisters! This was a much different hospital stay than the last time. So much joy compared to so much pain and yet without the pain of losing Mishael, there would not be the joy of my Grace. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

She's here!

I was awakened at 5am this morning to my water breaking. Mackenzie Grace greeted us at 5:17pm this evening. Almost 2 weeks early weighing in at 8 lbs 3 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. She is absolutely beautiful. Pictures are up on facebook, and I will get some up here soon. I'm going to try and get some sleep now. Have a great day!

Oops i keep forgetting to post!

I read my blog list daily but can't remember to write my own. Maybe because things are not very interesting right now. I have had 2 weeks worth of classes so far. It's going alright but sitting in a class for almost 3 hours at a time is brutal! I only have Thursday classes so I am going all day. 8 am to 9:30 pm with a break from 4:45 - 6:15. I am 37 weeks pregnant now but have basically been pregnant since July 2008 so I am ready to hold this little girl. I am getting really uncomfortable and huge.
Right now I am watching Regis and Kelly, and I can't get over how quiet it is in the house. The girls are in school and Wade is in class. Tuesdays are nice but it is hard to get used to and just as soon as I do, I will have a little one to take care of! I am really wanting to go shopping but we can't right now.
I am not trying to be ungrateful because God has been good to us and is suppling our needs. But we don't get our student loans in until the end of the month so we are just being very careful. But there are just times when I want to go shopping. Sometimes it is fun just going to look, but right now I just want to go buy something! Walking around is painful so I don't want to go walk around to not buy anything!
Sorry, I'm not trying to complain, and I know we have to make sacrifices right now while we are in school. It will seem worth it one day. I am enjoying all the time I get to spend with Wade and that couldn't happen if we had jobs that paid us! I hope you had a great Labor Day weekend a great rest of the week. Thanks for listening to my whining today!

Things going on

So it had been a little while since my last post, things have been busy. Wade and I are starting our Master's, and due to that last week had orientation/retreat about 20 minutes from here. It was a 3 day thing that was mandatory. The scheduling for the girls was a huge nightmare! We had three student we know who were able to work it out for us. The retreat was good in the fact that we meet some great people who will be on this journey with us. The sessions we sat through were long and sometimes mind numbing! But the friend we have made was worth it. We have already all had a dinner together and a few lunches.
Wade's classes started yesterday, mine are tomorrow. I was able to get all my classes on Thursdays and while it makes for a very long day (8 am - 9:30 pm) I felt it would be easier to get back into things after the baby if i only had one day of classes. Wade has 3 out of 4 of my classes with me just in case I need a little extra time.
I am nervous but excited. All of my classes are 2 hours and 45min long so that is a little daunting! The professors we met on the retreat were so very supportive though, they like most people were a little surprised that I am taking classes this semester but I feel this is God's plan and I know He will give me the strength I need. But if you think about it, say a prayer for us as we embark on the journey as we will definitely need it!

First day a few days ago

So this post is a little late, the girls had their first day on Wednesday - oops! Ainsley started first grade and Renah started pre K. Unfortunately for her, she has a phase in day on Wednesday and will have another one Monday then will begin daily on Tuesday. She has had a hard time with going one day and not the others yet, but I'm sure will miss these days soon!

Grr

Something is wrong with blogger! It has lost all of the blogs I follow. I tried to put them back on today, and when I came back to that page after adding about 15 back on, they had disappeared again! I posted a question for help so hopefully it can be fixed - has anyone else had this problem?

God's plan

A friend of mine posted this on facebook. It really spoke to me so I decided to post it here:

God's Plan

Some things are beyond planning.

And life doesn't always turn out as planned.

You don't plan for a broken heart.

You don't plan for a failed business venture.

You don't plan for an adulterous husband

or a wife who wants you out of her life.

You don't plan for an autistic child.

You don't plan for spinsterhood.

You don't plan for a lump in your breast.



You plan to be young forever.

You plan to climb the corporate ladder.

You plan to be rich and powerful.

You plan to be acclaimed and successful.

You plan to conquer the universe.

You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.



You don't plan to be sad.

You don't plan to be hurt.

You don't plan to be broke.

You don't plan to be betrayed.

You don't plan to be alone in this world.

You plan to be happy. You don't plan to be shattered.

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want.

But MOST times, what you want and what you get are two different things.



We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens.

Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours.

Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishes us to carry, but we can carry that cross with courage knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.

Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.

Sometimes, God allows pain so we can be stronger.

Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.

Sometimes, God allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves. Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.



Make plans, but understand that we live by God's grace

randomness

Yesterday was my birthday - 31 - wow. My girls (who love watching and repeating commercials) bought me a snuggie. Something they have been wanting to get their cold natured (though not so much right now) mommy for awhile now. We were in Bed Bath and Beyond because Wade wanted me to pick out the gift he had in mind for me - a grill, griddle machine -(this one) can't wait to use it! Anyway, Wade took the girls off to find a present. Renah came back and whispered to me " I can't tell you because it's a surprise but you can hold the baby and still be cozy warm!"She was so excited about their gift. Now they both want one so I am considering making one for them since these are so long.
I had a dr appt yesterday. I'm 32 weeks now. It's really funny because they all try to eplain why she is so big, but all end up saying "I guess she is just a big baby!" They gave me an ultrasound to get a weight of her. Average babies are about 4lbs right now. She weighed in at 5lbs 4oz! Next appt will be with my regular dr again and we will probably start discussing inducement dates - holy cow!
I don't know about your house but my cleaning fairies that are supposed to clean while I sleep at night must be on strike. In fact, I think they are adding to the mess while I sleep. I look in my sink and am amazed at the mess. it is driving me crazy! I hope those fairies come back to work soon!
The next few weeks are going to be crazy. The girls start school next Wednesday, The next week, Wade and I have o go on a mandatory orientation/retreat for seminary for 3 days (scheduling nightmare with the girls!) Then Wade and I start seminary then Mackenzie makes her arrival. It makes me tired just thinking about it! Well, I have laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning and errands to run. Have a great day!
Christina

We (finally) did it!

This past weekend, Wade and I completed something we have been waiting a long time to do. We graduated college! When we met, Wade had dropped out because he didn't know where he was going. I stayed in until we got married and decided to take a semester off that turned into many years! My brother was so disappointed in the fact we did not graduate and I know this weekend he was looking down from heaven saying "it's about time!" and I know he would have been very proud of us. Wade's family came and threw us a big party Saturday night.It was a lot of fun. Wade was chosen by the school to carry the banner. When it was his turn to go across the stage, I was so excited for him. My heart was about to beat out of my chest. I was fine when it was my turn! I hope your weekend was adventure filled and fun!

Just two?

So my babies are in Florida with my in laws until next week when they come back up for graduation (mine and hubby's - woo hoo!) I miss them! Wade and I went to lunch yesterday and the hostess said that phrase when she was seating us, "just two?" It made me sad, I love being with Wade by ourselves and look forward to our date nights but I just felt like she stabbed me with those two little words.
I know they are having fun but I miss them! Wade has morning classes during the week so i am all alone and it's weird! I told Wade this morning that I have not been by myself this much since he went to Iraq the first time in 2003 when I was pregnant with Ainsley. He left in March, she was born in June, so most days i was alone. It's just weird to realize that I don't do much alone. Yes, sometimes I go to the store but it is a different feeling knowing you are getting away for a couple of hours verses this. I'm sorry if I am not making any sense, I am rambling. Well, I should go do some laundry. have a good day!

Here comes the tooth fairy!

This morning Wade went to church with the girls by himself. I didn't sleep well so I stayed in bed. He came to get me after church for lunch with friends. On the way there, Ainsley was telling me that her granola bar for breakfast was hard and hurt her tooth. When we got to the restaurant, she asked me to look at it. When she opened he mouth i noticed her tooth was sightly crooked so I told her I was going to touch it. It was really loose! She was excited and scared at the same time. We had to wait on a table for awhile because there were quite a few of us. She aasked me to look at it again and it was already pulled away from the back of her gums. I took her to the bathroom and after a few tears, she pulled it herself!
It doesn't seem like it's time for these things yet. She is my baby, but she is growing up too fast!

more on last post

I hope that did not come across judgmental on teen parents. Regardless of what they choose for their baby, as long as the baby is taken care of it is ok. I knew some teen parents who have made great parents. Being a mom is hard no matter your age. My heart was burdened for the second couple so much and i just thought I would share their story. I hope no one was offended.

16 and pregnant

Last night I was laying in bed and found this show on MTV "16 and pregnant" I was curious so I decided to watch. I saw 1/2 of one that was what you would expect, a 16 year girl and her boyfriend not knowing how hard life can be anyway much less as teenage parents without an education or decent job. The next one was surprising. It was a couple of kids who didn't have the best home life. Each of their parents were divorced and ended up marring each other. The kids knew their home life was not good and without finishing their education they would be in the same place as their parents. So they decided on adoption.
Both of their parents were against the idea, not once saying they wanted to help them but saying they should love the baby enough to keep her. The boys dad even told him to "man up" and be a father. The kids were so mature in all of it saying how much they do love her and because of that didn't want her to live in that mess or come from a broken home. The boy said she does need love but she needs more than love because love won't buy diapers or clothes. You could tell they did struggle with the decision to give her up but knew it was best for her.
The worst thing the girls mom did was refuse to sign th paperwork for the adoption. ( I guess because they were minors, they needed parental consent in order to give the baby up on the hospital property) So the babies mom, had to leave the hospital with the baby knowing she was giving her up. It was so hard on her because she had geared herself up for leaving the hospital empty handed. They had to leave the property to give the baby up.
I was so proud of those kids as they knew what was best for their daughter no matter how hard it was for them they couldn't be selfish about it. They were talking with some friends at one point and was asked if they had just considered getting married and raising her. They said we are too young and would end up divorced and that is no life for her. Yes, they were too young to have a baby, but they knew that and it took so much strength to do what they did. I hope they do finish high school and college.
I was just so touched by that particular show and in a way felt their pain. it showed them in the hospital holding her and kissing their child goodbye. I know that feeling - though we had different circumstances, we each laid in a hospital bed holding our baby and said goodbye. If you think of them today, say a prayer for this young couple who made such an amazing choice despite the opposition they faced. Pray for their peace and their future, and for those other young parents who choose to keep their baby despite the opposition they may face.

Long week!

Well, I had a July 4th blog in my head ready to go and was going to blog about it but last Tuesday night, Wade and I were online and he said "Are you still online?" Long story only a little shorter, our lovely provider has yet to figure out autopay no matter how many times we call to set it up and go ahead and pay the bill since it still was not set up. According to them, we had not paid at all so they shut it off completely. They were unable to over ride the computer and said we would not have service until Friday. On Friday, still no service and after 3 hours on the phone and no help my hubby decided to wait until the next day. Everyone he talked to had no idea why it was shut off and were as confused as we were. Finally, Sunday morning we had internet again. Oh we are not happy customers but at least we have internet again and I don't feel so disconnected! I hope you had a great week!

sisters

So I think I mentioned it last time but for Ainsley's birthday she got her own room. Therefore, Renah too got her own room sort of. She was really upset that Ainsley was leaving her. We were going to use the 4th bedroom as a nursery/guest room. We decided to ask Renah if she wanted Mackenzie in her room. She was thrilled! She is so excited to be sharing her room with the baby (even though right now it is just her crib and we have told her that after she is born it will still take awhile)
The amazing thing to Wade and I is that there has been much less fighting since then and they play together so much better! It has been really nice. Even bedtime is easier! I am so thankful for the room to give them their own space! Yesterday we were at the pool and the whole time they carried each other around and played happily together . It made this mommy's heart so happy! I do have a sister but she is nine years older than me and we have never been that close. I love that I have my little girls ( and another one on the way) to have that sister bond that i always wanted. I pray they are close for life as there is something very special about sisters.

Ainsley's birthday

Well, today my baby turned 6. I cannot believe she has been in my life for 6 years! She is an amazing child. The sweetest big sister one could ever hope for. She has had a big year, kindergarten, learning to read, cheering, learning to ride a scooter and bike, and so many other milestones that this year has brought. I have seen he deal with the loss of her brother and the excitement of a new sister.
Today, her big birthday present was her own room. She has wanted this for awhile now and I hope she enjoys it. I look forward to what this next year will bring this beautiful little girl. It is a joy to be her mom.

busy week if i ccan get up!

VBS is going on this week. And no, I am not one of those amazing moms that volunteer to teach a class. We do not attend the church that puts this one on but we used to and I could help out if I felt the desire (which I have no had that feeling yet!) So I have the mornings to myself - woo hoo! Yesterday, I got home and sat down to a nice cup of coffee and Wade called and asked me to go get something for him. When I got done I no longer had the motivation to go home and unpack. Yes, we have lived here over a month and I was mostly done but we finally got our thing out of storage! So I am looking around my downstairs and seeing all these boxes feeling a little overwhelmed with all that I need to get done. We walked to the church because it is just downtown and there is no need (except for the AC!) to drive. Now I am just trying to cool off before getting to business. I hope to have a productive day!

baby update

My (big) little girl is growing well. I have yet to gain a pound - woo hoo! She checked me today because I told her about some pains i have been having. She said she is high like she should be but my cervix is very soft so I have to be careful and not overdo anything. I do have a question though, I have never produced much breast milk. I do believe in breastfeeding and have done the best that I can but have had to supplement with my girls. I breastfed on demand and pumped in between to try and get my supply up to no avail. The one medicine the doctors have put me on in the past is now linked with severe liver damage ( nice, i know!) I have tried a natural supplement that makes you smell like maple syrup when you get enough in your system and I will use that again if I need to but I was wondering if anyone out there has had this problem and what they have one about it.

The next best thing

So I don't have central air in my new house and I'm six months pregnant and it's June. But what do I have? A 4 year old who loves to help and will go steal the fan from her daddy's office, plug it in and put it 5 ft in front of me! Ahhh much better! Now if I could just get her to feed me grapes!

camping

I realized I had not posted about our camping trip last weekend. It was fun, and coming from someone who is not a camper that is saying alot! There were about 35 people from church that went. We had community breakfast and dinner and lunch was however we wanted. We took the girls scooters but they didn't use them much, they borrowed bikes from other kids and rode and played from the time they woke up until it was dark. The girls had so much fun. It did rain on Sunday but not just a little rain - it poured! We were about to have dinner when the sky just opened up! I was in my tent and the girls and some of their friends were in theirs. I don't know where Wade ended up but we made it through. And probably the best part for me was that Wade decided we should get a pop up camper! I told him I wouldn't mind camping more often if I didn't have to sleep in a tent, so we are looking for an inexpensive, used one - woo hoo! I am oing to try and upload some pics of the trip now - we will see!

In which my children become the family pets.

I do not know what is wrong with my children tonight. We got home and they were upstairs playing, Ainsley came downstairs and said Renah peed in her bed. Renah said it was because Ainsley told her to. Then a few minutes later Ainsley came downstairs to get some plastic bags to clean up poo. I yelled for Miley to get in the crate thinking she had gone upstairs. Nope, Ainsley told Renah to poo in the floor and they thought it was funny. Yes, they did get in trouble and sent to bed. I am frustrated as Ainsley is almost 6 and acting like this. This is the only bathroom incident, but not the only thing they have done lately that have made me question what is going on with them. I know they are still young but really they are smart kids and acting like crazy ones! Is it a kid thing, or a jealous thing because of the baby? I have no idea but this cannot keep going like this or I might pull my hair out before school starts again!

New phone

Last Friday, while running errands,I was stopped on a hill, talking on the phone to my husband trying to find a radio stations to drop off the CD I had in my car for him. The CD fell off the seat hitting the plastic thing of cupcakes I was taking to Ainsley's school to celebrate her birthday early with her friends and popped it open. At the same time, i got a text and when I went to hang up the phone and fix the cupcakes, my phone fell into the cup of sprite i had in my cup holder. And did I mention who the text was from? The bride who was getting married on Saturday, whom i was planning and coordinating the wedding for! I tried drying it out in a bag of rice but no luck so i have been out of a phone for almost a week! i went in today to get one but before I could get it, my husband came in to join me for lunch. We ate next door with a friend of his who talked Wade into talking me into an iphone. Oh my goodness, it is awesome! I just love it! Well, we are heading to Walmart to get some camping supplies because we are going camping with a group from church this weekend. i hope you have a great Memorial Day!

Titleless

Classes are out and i am waiting on August for graduation. In the meantime I am a stay at home mom again. i have missed it and i love it. i did however forget about all the housework and in the new house with an upstairs, downstairs and laundry in the basement it is alot od house! I'm not complaining mind you, I love this house. I have just never had so much house to clean. There is so much room it doesn't look cluttered! However, with all this room, the kids and dog still get right under my feet! and I still trip over my hubby's shoes! Some things never change! I hope you had a great weekend and great week to coe. I really have to get some things done today!!!

Drum Roll please....

And the verdict is.... more pink! We are having a little girl! Well, maybe not so little she is in the 96% for height and weight. The doctor says prepare for at least a nine pound baby! Holy cow!!!!

pink or bliue??

I have an appointment in a couple of hours and should find out what we are having! I am so excited!

I feel so out of it

We are moved in, and got out internet back today! I finished my finals and am so exhausted! I feel so behind on everything! But now maybe I can get our new place in order and get some rest! Hope all is well with you! Be back with more later.

God is good

This has been a crazy week. I am still sick (I think I have a sinus infection), we got to see the baby again this week and things are looking well, and probably the craziest thing, we found a new place to rent. It is over 100 years old and huge! It has 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, full basement, and full attic. I called and the whole time I am thinking "we so cannot afford this" The guy asked me how much we could afford, I gave him a number and he thought for a moment and said, " I am willing to work with that" I was amazed! We looked at it that night by flashlight since the power was out and really liked what we saw and went home to pray about it. We asked to see it the next day in the daylight and absolutely fell in love with it. Wade and I talked about it and found out we had both been praying separately about a house for us. I had been driving down the historic area close to where we live and was talking to God and said, " I know we can't afford a house around here but I really like Ainsley's school and would like Renah to attend there as well. I know that You are capable of giving us an amazing deal on a big house for us. I know you will supply our needs and care about our wants. " I had prayed that a few times and God really came through. We are even closer to our school (funny since we live less than 1/2 mile now!) and still in Ainsley's district and so much room. It is a little more than we are paying now but we just paid off our car and with the larger house, we do not need a storage unit any more! I am reaaly excited but stressed a little as we are moving in about a week and a half and finals are coming. But I know that God supplied this amazing house for us and I know he knows what is going on in our lives right now. He will help us in our time management and give us extra energy for this. I took some pictures but they were not too good but will post some soon. Have a great weekend and if you happen to be in my area and have the strong urge to clean and/or paint give me a call - lol!

one down, about 100 more to go!

Yesterday, Wade and I had our first step in becoming a minister's family. Wade had his board for licensing in the Church of God. We both went to the interview, we were in front of the campus pastor, and 3 very influential and very well educated Ph D's from the school. The began firing questions at Wade. I had a few but his were insane. I was so nervous for him. He did amazing! he answered those questions with poise and honesty. I could not have been more proud of him. After the questions, we were asked to step out while they talked. They asked us back in and told us they felt that we should go into ministry. It was a great feeling and I could not stop telling Wade that he did so good. So we are one step closer and that feels so good!

Dear Global Warming Scientists:

While I realize your research has been extensive, I think you may have overlooked a very real possibility. The polar icecaps may not be melting, they might be relocating to say the south. Because in case you haven't noticed it is supposed to be spring and it is really cold! So I am not saying that you are wrong I just think you may have overlooked somethings.
Sincerely,
A frozen mom from the south

I have a confession...

This is a tough one but here goes. I am not a fan of American Idol. Whew! Glad I got that off my chest. I think this may make me a bad blogger because as I went to check the blogs I follow today, there are about 6 -7 AI updates. That is alot! Personally, I watch Biggest Loser. I love that show maybe because I should go on it but will not show all of America or even one person what I look like in a sports bra. And I cry when people yell at me! I know I would get Jillian! But I want to know am I the only one who just does not get the appeal?

I have my camera back!

I have been camera- less for awhile now. I lost my charger I don't even know when. So last week, my hubby went on ebay and bought me a new one (is there anything you can't find on ebay?) So I took a few pictures at Chuck E.Cheese this weekend but not many because I was holding my purse, coat, tokens and tickets! But at one point, Ainsley did that picture thing that takes your picture then "draws" it. She brought it to me and I couldn't believe how big she looked. It is not a good picture because it is a picture of a picture without the flash but you can get the idea.

I made it

Monday was very hard but I made it. I took my test online but did not go to the rest of my classes. I just didn't feel like it. We took the girls to a park in the early evening and had ice cream for dinner. The rest of the week went alright, Tuesday, a friend wanted to take me to a small town that has some really good bargain stores. We had a good time.
Today, we had a birthday party at Chuck E.Cheese. The girls had so much fun. They haven't been in a long time because it is in Chattanooga. It was funny because the last time we went, Renah had just turned 2 and Ainsley was 3, we had to follow them and help them with everything. This time, they would get tokens from us and go off to play. We did help get them some tickets though because of course you can't leave without some kind of junk!
We got home and all took a nap. I woke up starving and made tacos for dinner yum! I haven't been cooking much lately. We have been so busy and exhausted and the next few weeks will be even busier with our Easter program coming up and I am planning a wedding for someone in the next 6 weeks. This post seems really disjointed but I am trying to get the girls in their bath and thinking about studying for another German test I have on Monday. So i am going to go and bathe my munchkins, i hope you are having a great weekend.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day I have been dreading for nearly 6 months. It would have been my due date. The whole month has been difficult. I have known of several women who were due around the same time as I was and have all had their baby. It is just so hard.
It is not that I am not grateful for the child I am carrying for I know that this child would not be in exsistance had I not lost Mishael. But no one should have to choose one child's life over another and no matter how many children I have, I will always miss him and know one of my children are missing.
I would love to go to bed tonight and not get out of bed until tomorrow is over but unfortunately there are tests and so many things going on I can't do that. I am so sad tonight and miss him terribly.

I'm back

I didn't mean to be away so long but we were on vacation this week. It was wonderful! We went to Gatlinburg with some friends and stayed in a cabin. It was so nice to get away (and the hot tub was a nice extra!) When our friend sends pictures i will put them on - I have got to get a new camera or get a new charger! We played miniature golf in 40 degree weather, went to Wonderworks and did the dinner show and did a little outlet shopping. It was very restful and what we needed. I hope you are doing well and i will update more later. Have a good Sunday afternoon!

Renah to the rescue!

The other day, we were going to lunch and we saw a homeless man by the side of the road. Renah asked what he was doing so I told her he did not have a home and he was asking for help. We decided to get him a meal as well. Unfortunately, he was gone when we went back out. Renah was so upset by this and by the fact he didn't have a bed or stuffed animals.
Later on, she was telling Ainsley about what she had seen that day (Ainsley was in school at the time) Renah decided that the next time we see him we should get him and bring him to our house. I told her that was sweet but we don't have an extra bed or room for him. She was quiet for a while (she amazes me at her attention span and how long she will think about something) About 30 minutes later she announced, " I have a great idea! We will get a bigger house and another bed right by me and I will share my pillows and blankets and he can live with us!"
She was so proud of her idea. As was I. I love that she is so generous and is trying to save the world!

It's whats on the inside

Earlier this week, Ainsley had her spring pictures taken. We had picked out a cute little dress for her to wear the night before. When she woke up in the morning she decided she did not want to wear that she wanted to wear jeans instead. Since it was her picture I decided to let her wear what she wanted. A few minutes later she changed her mind again and at this point we didn't have time for her to change. Plus, we are working on consequences based on your decisions. Good or bad, we want her to understand she can't always change her mind once she realizes the consequence of her decision. We are teaching her she can fix it but not change it.
She realized in her picture she would be wearing jeans and wanted to look cute. Something else we are working on is teaching the girls that true beauty comes from the heart, and no matter what she wears, if her heart is not pretty, she won't be pretty on the outside. So we talked about how some people don't have nice clothes but are beautiful because of their heart and someone who may have the best clothes may not very nice looking if their heart is not good. I felt pretty good about this talk as I was being patient with her and trying to explain this. We were in the car at this point and she is still upset so in a very whiny voice she says, "But mommy, they aren't going to take a picture of my heart!"
It took me a few minutes to recover form that one so she wouldn't see me snicker. We then prayed and walked into school. Out of the mouth of babes! This mothering stuff is tough! My next post will be about Renah trying to save the world!

sick, sick, sick

Yuck we are all sick! I have been sick with a stomach bug since Tuesday, Wade has some kind of junk, Ainsley was sent home from school today with a fever, and Renah has some nose issues. I just want to be over this! I made it to one class today, but that is when Ainsley's school called. So we came home and went to bed! We have layed around all afternoon. So excuse me while I whine but, " WE DON"T FEEL WELL! WAH!!!!" I hope you have a good weekend!

Waiting for spring...

I found this on facebook from a friend of mine and it seemed to be what I needed. I am so tired of winter physically and emotionally. I am more than ready for spring...
"Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life." - Immanuel Kant

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.

Moral:

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

Don't judge life by one difficult season.

A few words

I am so sorry i have not been good with updating lately. Things have been busy and i am very forgetful right now! I have even forgotten a few class assignments this week! I will come back soon though! I hope are having a great week!

Happy Valentine's Day

Wade and I went out last night. We went to dinner and to Walmart to get the girls some Valentine's things. We were walking through the store at about 9:30 and Wade said, " I know it's early but I'm so tired! Want to go home?" I was ready for bed about the time we left the house so I was ready to go! We got the girls a few things that we gave them this morning and Wade is at church right now helping with the last minute details of the new building that we have our fist service in tomorrow! The girls have been so cute today telling me "Happy Bawemtimes Day!"
I am trying to study my German but keep getting distracted and I am so tired I might just have to rest my eyes a bit! Have a good Bawemtimes Day!

The call no parent wants...

I went to my ceramics class early yesterday to work on some things I missed last week since I was sick. Class had not even started yet when my phone rang. It was Ainsley's school, she had fallen off the monkey bars and her head was bleeding. As we were on the phone, they decided to call an ambulance. My heart dropped. I called Wade at his meeting and he was picking me up in no time though I was already walking. The secretary rode with her to the hospital b/c traffic was so bad we couldn't get there fast enough. I nearly took out a few hospital employees b/c they said have a seat and when she gets checked out we will come get you. I walked out or as my husband said i tried to superwoman my way through the door b/c they wouldn't open and went to the ambulance entrance and waited there. She was terrified by all the things they had on her. She had 6 stitches and can't go back to school actually until Tuesday b/c they have Thurs - Mon off. she seems fine today but she gave mommy a scare!

So tired - hard to type

I haven't been around much lately b/c I have been in bed whenever i get a chance. SOOOO tired! Nausea has also set in but I'm ok with that. It's the extreme exhaustion that keeps me from here and cleaning. I am selling Pampered Chef now so if you want a party - even a catalog party - let me know and hopefully I won't fall asleep during the party! Have a good day! I want to sleep!

This week

Well, I would love to post a picture of the ultrasound we had yesterday, but I cannot find the charger for my camera. We were able to see the heartbeat and that did my heart good. I am taking a baby aspirin a day as a precaution. Even though nothing came up in the reports from my son or myself the doctor feels it is a good idea. I have strep and bronchitis right now so I am on lots of antibiotics. I took a really long nap this afternoon and that was nice! I don't have a class tomorrow so i have to clean my nasty house! I hope you are having a good week!

A person is a person....

Tonight we watched "Horton hears a Who". It was so good. If you have not seen it or read the book you really should! It is such an amazing Pro life story. The book was written in 1954, 19 years before Roe vs. Wade. In the end, when the Who's are yelling "we are here!" to try to get the other's to hear them. I of course was crying b/c I could just see a little baby inside the womb yelling to his mom who is contemplating ending his life, screaming out, " I am here!" It was a beautiful story and after all a person is a person no matter how small.

I'm back

I have been away this week, mostly not by choice. Our internet went out for no apparent reason and Friday was not a good day. I came back from class and discovered I was bleeding. I panicked. I called my doctor and they had me come in immediately. They did an ultrasound and saw the sac and did not see bleeding behind it so they said things looked normal. I was told it was implantation bleeding. They did not see a heartbeat yet since i am right at 5 weeks. I rested the afternoon as I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Hopefully next week I should be able to see the heartbeat and will feel better.

New Beginnings

Last night, Wade threatened that if I didn't blog soon he would... So here goes... I'm pregnant! We weren't certain if we were going to tell people right away. But church yeterday was about laying down your burdens. We decided that God was going to keep me and this baby safe and we are going to take a step of faith and tell people. And, if something does happen, it wouldn't make it any easier if no one knew. I am due the beginning of October, which if you have read this blog, is the time when Mishael died. We did not know for 2 weeks. God wants to restore October to us, and it will still hurt on October 15th and 16th but October is not going to have to just be a month we will dread every year, it is going to be a celebration of new life. I know most of you who read this are Christians, so if you would, please pray for the safety of this baby and for mine and my families peace. Thank you!

Emotions abound

I have been so emotional lately. If you know me at all I am an emotional person anyway, but lately I could all cry so many times. I hold it in as it happens at very inappropriate times. I found myself getting so emotional while watching the inauguration this morning. I saw all those people there so wanting a man to end all of their troubles. It is something we all have done, put too much faith and trust in a human. And as humans, we all fail, we cannot be all things to all people. I am not saying this has never happened with a new president, it just feels that so many people have feel that the new president is our Saviour. I am that praying for him, that he does seek the one true God for answers to run this country. Wow, that is not where I meant to go but I really found myself so emotional this morning!
Anyway, there have been other times that my emotions have tried to take over and most of the time it is for no real reason! I was making lunch and for no reason I felt like crying. Maybe I should just take some time and cry and get it all out so I don't want to cry over deli meat! Even right now thinking about it, my eyes are welling up!

My girls found a stray...

...ladybug! Last night we found a ladybug in the house and the girls were fascinated! They played with it and I was finally able to convince them he/she/whatever belonged outside. This morning I wake up to Ainsley with a flashlight shining in Renah's hand saying, "mommy, the ladybug was still outside waiting for us, she must really want to live here!" We did talk about going outside when mommy and daddy are sleeping then Renah went on and on about wanting a pet. I told her we had Miley (our dog) and she said, "that is only one pet!" Then I reminded her about the fish and we counted all the fish, "that is only 6 pets mommy, we need a ladybug too!" All the while the ladybug is "sleeping". They took turns watching it while the other did something. Finally after quite awhile, they took it back outside and made promises to the ladybug to always remember it and not to catch it again so it could be free. I think the wind finally took it away. Unless, they hid it in their room! A little while later, I was getting in the shower and found a spｉｄer that came up the drain.Ｉｑｕｉｃｋｌｙ　ｗａｓｈｅｄ　ｉｔ　ｄｏｗｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｒａｉｎ　ｓｏ　ａｓ　ｎｏｔ　ｔｏ　ｈａｖｅ　ｔｈａｔ　ｂｅｃｏｍｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｎｅｘｔ　”ｐｅｔ”

I'm kindof pathetic!

Every day I read the blogs I follow and hope for new ones (as do most of you - admit it). The pathetic part for me is there is always a little let down when I get to the end of my list. It is like being 7 and getting to the end of the presents. I enjoyed the ones I opened, but am sad there are no more.
In other news, it is 14 degrees out right now. In some parts of the country that is not such a big deal, BUT I live in southeast Tennessee. That is not supposed to happen! Plus, no snow! If it is to be this cold we should have a few feet of snow. Because that would give me reason not to go anywhere. As some of you know, the south shuts down for snow. I have bread and milk, I am good! What are we supposed to do with bread and milk if we are snowing? Please tell me! I do not want toast and milk in a snowstorm, I want chili and soup and warm comfort foods but bread and milk are a must if snow is called.
Schools were canceled today due to cold weather. Does anyone else find that a bit odd? Last week, schools were closed b/c it was raining so much. Even the schools want snow days so instead they are taking what they can get! I had to get the girls out today because Wade and I still had classes. As I was getting out of bed and Wade told me how cold it was I was wondering what to do for the girls as they do not have really cold weather gear. So I improvised and let them wear jammies under their clothes. We then had to walk about 1/2 mile to meet up with the sitter. They really wanted me to drive but parking is horrible on campus so we would of had to walk further if I drove. It was a good workout b/c we walked super fast! Ok, enough rambling
I guess. I will be on the cooking blog later on posting about dinner! Have a warm and toasty evening!

It's not whether you win or lose...

Somebody really needs to share this tidbit with the coach of the girls basketball team for whom Ainsley's cheers. She has a very bad attitude and it rubs off on the team. I understand that one can get excited and frustrated but especially at this age, the best lesson that can be taught is to have a good attitude. The other team's coach tonight was just as bad except that we know him and he is a member in a prominent church. That is worse! I just know that if my child were on the basketball team I would really have a problem with that kind of attitude being displayed by the adults in my child's life.

It's my 100th post!

Holy cow, 100 posts - I can't believe it! I wish I had something profound to say but not so much. Classes went well yesterday but I was exhausted! I only have one class on Tues/Thurs so i ook Ainsley to school this morning then went to the gym. I came home and did the Thursday chores from my list I am trying so diligently to keep up with. Now, I want a nap and have class in about an hour. Oh well, I will get used to it! Ainsley has a game tonight so I have dinner in the crock pot. I may put this meal on the cooking blog. I have made it several times but it is so quick and easy. Ok, I convinced myself. I am going over there now to blog about it. If you want a quick, easy and yummy dinner come over here to see!

UGH!

My classes start back tomorrow. I know I can't be on Christmas vacation forever, it was nice not doing much of anything for awhile. My first class is with my hubby, we are taking German culture together. I normally would not take a class with him as he is one of those people who take little notes and study for about 1/2 hour and do really well! But since I lived in Germany for 5 years that maybe I would have a little leg up on him! I may have to eat those words though - lol!
I am really working on my time management skills. I have to learn that even 20 minutes is enough time to make a dent in a chore. I worked on a chore list for myself and the girls. They have to make their bed, sweep or dishes and clean their room. I just have to work on consistency. Here's hoping! I am going to get ready for bed and try and get to sleep before 2 am! Goodnight and have a good day.

Oh my aching back...

Wade and I moved the bedroom around a bit today. I am very happy with the results but man it was hard work! When Wade was in Iraq the last time, we got a good tax return so I went and bought us a new bedroom suite. We had never had one - we had a bed frame and a dresser I bought at a yard sale - it was a sad sight.
Anyway, I went to a furniture store and found a set that was within our budget and put it on layaway. We had the money but was about to move so I wanted it delivered to the new place. When I went to pay it out, I couldn't remember what it looked like so I asked to see it. It was then on clearance and i saw a set that i really feel in love with. It was about $600 more and I couldn't afford the extra. So I told myself to be grateful that we had a bedroom suite finally.
A few days later, I received a phone call from the manager at the furniture store. There had been a flood at the warehouse when they kept the layaway furniture and my bedroom suite was ruined and since it was on clearance, there were no more. He then said, "One of the saleswomen told me you had your eye on another set but you couldn't afford it. Would it be ok if we upgraded your set to the one your liked better?"
I was so amazed at that blessing from God. He cared enough about my little want and gave me the nicer bedroom set. And I do love this set but since I bought it in Texas - it is Texas sized! We have a king size bed and huge furniture and have yet to have a bedroom that this set really fits in!
So I cleaned all day, mostly in my bedroom and i have a few more things to do tomorrow to get ready for classes on Wednesday. I really want to be on top of the house work before classes begin. When I started in the fall I worked until the day before classes began and the house was a wreck going into classes. I was able to do quite a bit of cleaning but when I lost my son, I wasn't able to keep up with the house I did clean up but just wanted to take the time to rest and grieve. Now I do need to get a schedule going. This semester isn't going to be easy for me in the fact that march is coming. As much as I want to avoid it, March 23 will be here soon and I will have to deal with that. I have been able to take some time and just feel the pain in the past few weeks. I know it has helped just to take a few minutes to myself and feel the pain and cry. I can try to push it away but that will not really help me.
I am trying to get excited about my classes. I am taking pottery so that should be fun. I am just hoping that I don't have things due the entire semester like last time. Well, I hope you are having a good night - I am going to bed!

cooking

For a New Year's Resolution, Wade wanted to try a new recipe a week. So we started a new blog about our new recipes. This is it. It was really good. So I am working on finding new things to try. I found quite a few.
I enjoy cooking and have been cooking for quite some time. My mom was not the best cook but did not realize it ( which is worse than someone who can't cook and knows it!) lol! We used to eat out on holidays until I was about 14, I decided we were going to have a home cooked meal and I was going to do it! After that, I started cooking more during the week. My mom thought I was just being helpful, it was really about survival!
The good thing that came out of it, was I learned to experiment in the kitchen and got pretty good at cooking at least my husband thinks so! So try the new recipe if you want and let us know what you think! Have a good day!

Bad Habits

It is too early in the new year to have such bad habits I seem to be developing! I am becoming seriously addicted to coffee, blogs, and sleeping! The worst part? I am in no hurry to fix it I am completely happy with these bad habits! Anyone else have bad habits they are fine with and want to keep?

Not much

That is what we have been doing lately. We have been watching lots of movies, staying up late, and sleeping lots. Part of me feels really lazy for doing so and the other part doesn't care. I know we have needed this rest since this past semester. I am not looking forward to this semester especially March. It is going to be hard, I am still praying for strength.
We did make it to the gym today. I did some cardio, weight training and the steam room. I am starting to get tired though, so i am going to get the girls to bed and go to bed myself. I hope you are having a good day.

Happy 2009!

I am not going to do a year in review. It was a year of ups and downs. The downs were the worst ever but I am remembering the ups as well. Here are some pictures of our New Years celebrations. We made our own hats and confetti!