Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Tough days

I had been hoping to come on here and announce the impending arrival of our 4th child but earlier this week I went in to see the heartbeat and there was none. I am sad and frustrated, this is the second miscarriage this year. We didn't announce the other one because there seemed to be problems from the start, but this one I thought would be better, we even told the girls. They were so excited and little mother hens fussing over everything, it was precious. We had to tell them last night and after we lost our son (3 years ago this week ironically) I never wanted to have to give them news like that again, but I had to and it was devastating to them. However, Ainsley with her beautiful child like faith said, " can we still pray for a miracle that when you go to the doctor again everything will be ok?" I love these girls.
I hate miscarriage. It takes away the beauty of pregnancy, it makes you scared for every pregnant woman you see no matter how far along she is. It takes away so much and I am tired of them for anyone! This Saturday is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and just like I have for the past 3 years since my first loss, I will remember my babies and all the other ones lost.