It's beginning to look a lot like...mud I do live in Cleveland you know!

Oh the rain, the rain that will not go away. That is not what I'm talking about today but really it rains here all the time! Yesterday was Dec 1, and the Christmas festivities started! Last night was our staff/deacon Christmas party. Tonight is church but first a Christmas luncheon for Chaplain candidates and wives, tomorrow is a party, Friday a party, Saturday we are hosting a cookie and ornament swap - so excited! and Monday is a party. Holy cow that is a lot of Christmas cheer!
I am supposed to be writing a paper right now but felt like blogging first. I am also supposed to be studying for finals next week!
This is Mackenzie's first Christmas and I am so excited. I know that after we lost Mishael, I got pregnant very quickly. In some ways it made it harder, but I felt that with the milestones that we would go through, I needed to be pregnant. Last Christmas was hard but I knew had he not died, I wouldn't have had a baby at Christmas anyway, but this Christmas I would have and praise God I do.
Part of me feels guilty that get pregnant so easily when so many people we know struggle. I praise God that I am able to conceive with such ease. But this year I really want to remember and pray for those who want those babies and for whatever reason can't have them. To see the look in a child's eyes Christmas morning is priceless and I want my friends who have that desire for those babies to experience that look as well.
This post got a little deeper than I planned but that's ok, if you have read this, say a prayer for those who are struggling with infertility. Well, I really have to get to work on my paper. I hope you have great day and take a few minutes out of your busy day to enjoy the season!

Thanksgiving

This is my favorite holiday. It is a time to gather with loved ones without feeling the present pressure! This year we are going to a friends house this afternoon to visit then to another friends house for dinner. I am a little sad not to be hosting at our house because I love hosting! I am thankful this year for many things. I am thankful for my Savior who takes care of me and loves me, I am thankful for my husband. He is such a great guy and loves me more than I deserve! I am thankful for my girls. They are all so special and sweet. I am so thankful to be a mom! I am thankful that this year when I left the hospital I was able to hold that sweet bundle in my arms not just in my heart. I am thankful for the house we live in and the car we drive. I am thankful Wade and I were able to graduate this year and begin our master's. The list goes on but I want to say thank you as well to our great friends who love us, pray for us and support us.

I'm still here

Things have been pretty busy around here lately. I have about 3 weeks left in this semester so I'm having to get a lot done for that. We went to the pumpkin patch a couple of weeks ago and for the first year since we have been going, it was actually fall! We went last weekend to Gatlinburg for a staff retreat with church. Wade's sister came last Friday so she kept Ainsley and Renah Friday night so we could go. We were going to come home to take the girls trick or treating Saturday but decided to have her bring the girls up and go trick or treating in Gatlinburg. We had such a good time and decided to make it an annual trip. Mackenzie is growing way too fast. If I had my way, she would be a newborn for a year. I have been overwhelmed lately with trying to be superwoman. Wade tells me all the time I am doing a great job, but I do wish I had a few more hours in a day to get more done. I am trying so hard but am so tired. This is the first time I have sat down to read my blogs much less write one. I am trying to give cut myself some slack but I know I will always try to do mor than I can. I hope you are having a great week and try to cut yourself some slack too!

One year

Today is another one of those milestones I have dreaded. This is the one year anniversary of us finding out Mishael, our son, died. It is bitter sweet as I look at my beautiful daughter, knowing she would not exist had this day last year not happened.
Today also marks the National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss. So when I am grieving for my son, I know there are so many other mothers that are experiencing my pain. If you think about it, take a few minutes to pray for those of us grieving and remembering and to praise God for the babies who are safe and healthy.

Can't expect much on little sleep!

I haven't meant to ignore my blog but I have been a bit busy and sleep deprived. Mackenzie is such an easy going baby. The girls are so in love with her. We had her first doctor's appt on Monday. She is not back up to birth weight yet and according to their scale she has lost weight since leaving the hospital, so I may have to start supplementing with formula soon. I take her for another weigh in Monday and if she hasn't put the weight back on I have to. I have never been able to fully breast feed and I am trying so hard but I'm afraid I still don't have enough milk.
She has been to my classes with me and is so good, most people forget she is there. She doesn't however like to sleep in her bassinet. She is fine in our arms, the bouncy seat, or the boppy but the bassinet is flat and doesn't hold her close so she hates it! Well that is it for tonight she has a gassy tummy so I need to help her. Have a good evening!

Mackenzie Grace

I got home a few hours ago. Wade and Ainsley are at the store, Renah and Mackenzie are sleeping so I thought I would post some pictures. She is an amazing baby and I am so thankful for her and her sisters! This was a much different hospital stay than the last time. So much joy compared to so much pain and yet without the pain of losing Mishael, there would not be the joy of my Grace. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

She's here!

I was awakened at 5am this morning to my water breaking. Mackenzie Grace greeted us at 5:17pm this evening. Almost 2 weeks early weighing in at 8 lbs 3 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. She is absolutely beautiful. Pictures are up on facebook, and I will get some up here soon. I'm going to try and get some sleep now. Have a great day!