Friday, November 14, 2008

It's finally Friday

Woo hoo. I had my 4 week checkup this week. It doesn't seem like it has been that long but at the same time it seems like years. Nothing came out of the tests. For Wade, it is easier knowing there was no reason, but I wanted an answer so badly. I had some questions for my doctor this time. One of which was I still feel movement. I will be sitting doing nothing important and suddenly I feel what feels just like a little kick or roll. For a brief moment, my mind forgets and I enjoy the feeling of my baby, then reality kicks me in the face and I remember that my baby is dead and go back to the moment I found out. It is so painful. In my reading about miscarriages and all the people I have talked with, no one has said anything about this. My doctor said it is a physical reaction to extreme emotions and should go away one day. She compared it to almost being in a car wreck, your heart begins to race and you tense up, while you did not get in a wreck, you still have physical reactions. We also talked about another pregnancy, she said they will see me more often and have many more ultrasounds until I am at 24 weeks. I told her I was scared and every pain or odd feeling was going to scare me. She told me that was ok and to call, she will see me an check things out. Later on in the conversation, I found out she too had a miscarriage about 12 years ago. She said while she is ok most of the time, she will see something sometimes and still cry. Well, I have to get ready for class as much as I want to stay home!. I hope you have a wonderful relaxing weekend.

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