Today is my first attempt back in classes. Monday I did go on Ainsley's field trip and was exhausted by the end of it. Monday night Wade said how about we take another day and rest. So we did all day Tuesday we slept. It was nice. I wish I could do it again today. I do not want to go to class. I have a migraine on top of my grief and I don't want to do anything. I know I need to. I have to one of these days. I feel so heavy, each step is a chore. I miss feeling my son move around and change my body. I just want to hold him again.