Tuesday, June 24, 2008

My dad

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my dad's death. He died of cancer after a short but painful battle. I loved my dad dearly and miss him so much. I know he is in a better place but that doesn't make it any easier. I always thought that after a death, eventually it wouldn't hurt so much. I know a year isn't a long time but still not as fresh as this time last year. I still find myself wanting to call him when we have news or something happens.
I want more than anything to talk to him about Wade and I going back in the army as chaplains. I know he would be proud and happy that we are but at the same time I want to hear it from him. It was so hard to watch him suffer and when he died as bad as it sounds it was a relief. The last time I saw him, he could not talk, all he did was stare off into space. It is so hard to see the man who I always knew could do and fix anything in that state.
At his funeral I gave his eulogy. it was hard but I felt I had to. I knew he was listening and knew everything I said because I had told him these things before but I needed to say it to him one more time. I wish my girls could have known him longer but I talk about him to them alot. I will always love you and miss you daddy!

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