Ainsley

Today, my baby turns 5. I cannot believe it has been 5 years! I still remember everything about the day she was born in such detail and yet cannot really remember a time I wasn't her mom. After 26 hours of intense labor and 2 hours of pushing that beautiful girl came into this world. She was a big girl and had the biggest hands I have ever seen on a newborn! Wade was in Iraq, I was in Italy and I had a friend and my mother- in - law with me. It was an amazing day and Ainsley loves it when I tell her about the day she was born. At her 6 week checkup she was not back up to birthweight yet so I began supplementing formula with the breastmilk. She was the tinyest thing! It was just the two of us for three months then Wade came home. She has been a daddy's girls since. I miss my baby and yet and excited about my little girl who has her own opinions nd who isn't afraid to tell you! She is beautiful and has such a kind, giving heart. She is the best big sister to Renah! I love her dearly and look forwardto watching her grow up!

My dad

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my dad's death. He died of cancer after a short but painful battle. I loved my dad dearly and miss him so much. I know he is in a better place but that doesn't make it any easier. I always thought that after a death, eventually it wouldn't hurt so much. I know a year isn't a long time but still not as fresh as this time last year. I still find myself wanting to call him when we have news or something happens.
I want more than anything to talk to him about Wade and I going back in the army as chaplains. I know he would be proud and happy that we are but at the same time I want to hear it from him. It was so hard to watch him suffer and when he died as bad as it sounds it was a relief. The last time I saw him, he could not talk, all he did was stare off into space. It is so hard to see the man who I always knew could do and fix anything in that state.
At his funeral I gave his eulogy. it was hard but I felt I had to. I knew he was listening and knew everything I said because I had told him these things before but I needed to say it to him one more time. I wish my girls could have known him longer but I talk about him to them alot. I will always love you and miss you daddy!

Flower girls and bzoos!

This past weekend we headed to the Nashville area to attend a wedding. it was the wedding of the roomate of our regular sitter who also happens to work in my office as a student worker. And I love her dearly. She asked my girls to be her flower girls. We were all excited! The girls knew what to do as they kept telling me, "walk down the isle, throw flowers, stand on stage and smile" And they did get most of it right! The "isle" was the grass as it was an outdoor wedding. There was a very long walk then the chairs were set up after an archway. I told them not to throw their flowers until they got to the archway.
I was standing back there with them, directing traffic, handing out mints, and making sure they stayed out of the dirt. They got to the arch and stopped - didn't move for what seemed an eternity! They turned to look at me, I was waving them to go forward, their dad was waving them to go but they took their time. Ainsley (from what I was told since I was way behind them) was taking handfuls and tossing them while Renah took one petal at a time. When Ainsley's ran out she stopped and was waiting for someone to bring her more flowers. Finally, I guess she realized she was getting no more flowers and used Renah's as well. They made it down the isle and the bride could now begin coming down.
I went to sit down adn by the time I got to my seat Renah was already using her basket as a hat. She proceeded to squat and look at things with her hands holding her face braced on her knee then eventually sat on her bottom with her legs out in front of her. it was quite amusing! Ainsley was a little angel up there though - she stood and was so sweet about it all! We had the reception and the girls and I danced and blew bubbles. Renah told me, "I not be a flower girl anymore I tired!" But it's amazing how she perked up when we took them to the pool once we got back to the hotel.
The next morning, we had lunch with a friend from high school that I haven't seen since before I moved to Italy in 2000. We have emailed and talked on the phone since then but haven't seen each other in person. It was so great to catch up with her! We went to Cracker Barrel then to McDonalds so my girls could play while we visited. We started back home and missed our turn. We still knew we would be fine since we were still going toward Nashville, but with missing the turn we saw signs for the zoo (Renah decided that "the zoo" was actually "bzoo" so she kept saying "we are going to bzoo!") and decided that it was a nice day to do that. I was surprised at the cost I have never been to such an expensie zoo or maybe I have just been to really inexpensive zoos but we had fun.
This was the first outing like this we have not had a stroller. Renah was fine at first then she kept saying her leg hurt and would "limp". She wanted someone to carry her she didn't care who! Wade wanted them to walk so they would sleep on the way home. Despite the lack of a stroller, the girls enjoyed themselves and did fall asleep quickly after we gor in the car! The slept from Nashville to Chattanooga where we stopped for dinner. It was a nice weekend and felt long which as you know for weekends is rare! Oh - I put some pictures on my facebook of the girls - I am still working on myspace. Have a good week!

Woo Hoo!

We are having construction going on at work so there was a scheduled power outage today. My great boss let us go home we were all so excited! So woo hoo I'm at home! My girls are here now so I'm going to play!

Cry Fest 2008

So I was reading a post about movies that make you cry and decided to make my own list.

Steel Magnolias - All time favorite movie but no matter how many times I watch it, the scene where Mi'lynn is at the gravesite and starts crying and asking why - I lose it! But not 2 minutes later when she passes up the chance of a lifetime to "whack a Whezzer" I am laughing so hard. I love that move. I really want to see it in the theater. Also I want another one - bring back all the wonderful actresses (minus Julia Roberts of course - sniff) and lets see what these women can talk about at Truvy's 2!

Meet the Robinson's - Yes, it is a cartoon but when he gets adopted I had a few tears!

My Life - Michael Keeton recording his life for his unborn child - enough said!

P.S. I love you - through the whole movie I was a mess!

My Best Friends Wedding - Still a little bitter he didn't end up with Julia - where he belonged!

Forrest Gump - losing Jenny and Bubba - too much!

Somersby - At the end when he is about to be hanged and he is searching for her in the crowd. She is trying to get there and there eyes meet for a moment before his head is covered then she watches him die. Oh the agony!

Army Wives - Yes, I know it isn't a movie but the first one of the new season I had no idea who died, when they started showing the daughter in the hospital and the dad crying - nightmares that night. It was awful!

Since I am no longer on movies:

Love you forever - book about a little boy and his mom who may be a bit too much but it took me two years of trying to read it to my girls to make it through without crying!

My daughters growing up - that is what makes me cry most of all!

So what makes you cry?

MMM coffee...

I got my new order of Boca Java coffee in yesterday. One of the flavors I ordered was Chocolate Hazelnut. Yummy! I love Boca Java - I didn't even like coffee before this kind! I mixed it with a caramel flavored cream and oh my goodness - so good! I just wish I could have some more right now! Well, today is a busy day so I have to work - bye!

Other new things....

I hope everyone had a great weekend. I coordinated a wedding Friday night. It was so much fun but I was exhausted! It went really well I think and would love to do more. the florist and the DJ took my info to recommend me for other jobs. I will also be looking into becoming a doula. I have coached a couple of women during labor and delivery and it is a wonderful job. It is hard work, but you get to witness a miracle. Maybe you are wondering why I would take on extra jobs when I always whine that I want to be home with my girls. Well, Wade and I have decided that I will quit my job and go to school full time in the fall. Scary - yes! But, we have been thinking about it for awhile now and with the new doors opened for Chaplaincy that takes some of the worry away from paying back these student loans.
This is the thing I was talking about a few weeks ago that I couldn't talk about then. We are now going to take that leap of faith and go for it. I am so close to graduating then I might go for my masters in counseling. Yhat would be useful as a chaplains wife.
Totally different subject - Bath and Body Works is having a sale. The signature fragrances are $4 a piece or 6 for $20. And the antibacterial soaps are 7 for $20. I stocked up! They even had Sun ripened Raspberry. I can't decide if I still like it or it reminds me of being 14! Not that that was a great time! But I got some anyway. I used pearberry last night and Ainsley crawled in to bed with me and said," mmm mommy you smell good - what is that!"
I am going to a friend's house to paint tonight. I enjoy painting - seeing a room transform with a little effort. In a few weeks I get to paint my house. I can't wait for that! Well, I guess I will end this for now I have been working on it for several hours now! Have a good day!

Changes

I am so excited about this post. I wanted to make sure it was ok with hubby before posting it. As you know, Wade and I got out of the army last year. This was such a hard thing for us to do because we really thought we were in for life. We love the army and what it stands for but really felt God calling us to get out. We have always said if only God would open the door we would go back in. Well, God opened a door. We have decided to go back into the army as chaplains. This will of course take some time as Wade does have to finish his undergrad. He will then be commissioned and begin his Masters in Divinity. After that we are back in. There will be some training while he is in school and will be considered on active duty. I know that some of you may not understand why we are happy about this, but this is the life we love and God is allowing us to do this. Am I saying this is an easy life? Not at all. it is hard, the deployments are hard, but the home time is good. Just pray for us as we continue down this path that we follow the little light we recieve from God and give Him our all in this endevor, as He receives the glory. We get to minister and serve those who defend this country and that is a huge responsiblity! But one I am so looking forward to, as I do love the military and it's people. Thank you in advance for your prayers and support.

Moving and rain and shots oh my!

We got moved in. We worked all day Saturday and Sunday but we got it done. Saturday was beautiful but Saturday night it started raining and continued through most of Sunday. We got soaked! I am really tired and sore though. I stayed home Monday but didn't get too much done, just about a room because I had errands most of the day. Last night we were putting up curtains and as I reached into the tool box something cut me. I looked and it was a rusty razor blade. i cleaned it but this morning it was tingling and swollen. I went to the health clinic on campus and had to get a tetinis shot. Now one hand is swollen and the other arm hurts. He said I may have to go get some antiboitics if the swelling doesn't go down since there may have been a chemical or something that is now in my system. That is about all for today.