3 girls?

My son would have been 15 months old by now. Seeing little boys at the age he would be always makes my heart ache. Then looking at my Mackenzie makes me so thankful for her and her life. Being a mom to 3 girls gets a lot of comments just as a mom to all boys or a mom with kids very close in age I'm sure gets. Almost every time we go out someone makes the comment about me having all girls and no boys. I usually smile and nod but not Ainsley and Renah (especially Ainsley). They always tells them "No, I have a brother!" Then they proceed to tell them that he either died or lives in heaven. The person usually looks at me with that look of sorrow and pity, smiles at the girls and walks away.
Ainsley for awhile got upset with me because she felt like I was forgetting him. I didn't tell her that not a day goes by when I don't think of my son and what he would be like or look like. I didn't tell her that my arms will always ache for him or that every family picture will be incomplete. Instead I tried to explain to her that it's hard to tell everyone I meet that I have a son who isn't with us because it makes me sad to. She said she understood and now takes it upon herself to tell anyone who asks and sometimes those who don't.
I feel bad for the people when she tells them because you know it isn't what they expect to hear, but at the same time I am glad she remembers her brother, though she never met him. She loves him and includes him in my count of children and in my mother in law's count of grandchildren.
I wish I did not belong to this club of mothers. I wish I didn't get that feeling of dread when someone tells me they are pregnant for fear that they may become part of this club. I hate that fear. I hope my girls eventually do understand why it isn't my conversation starter, but I also hope they always remember him.

1st day of summer!

Wow it was hot today! First day of summer and it hit 100 degrees! We hit the pool! When I woke up this morning I contemplated going to the Y to work out then take the girls swiming in the wonderful pool but remembered that Mackenzie has a cough and while the Dr said she is fine and not contagious the child watch people don't believe me and will call me from my work out after the first cough. So instead I knew I had some errands to run, but I told the girls to get their suits on and if they didn't ask me over and over when we were going to the pool, we could go after we did the errands.
They did great and it worked out that Wade could join us! Unfortunately, our sunscreen must be old and did not work so we all got burned, except Mackenzie who was under her shaded flotie most of the time. This is the girls first real burn and I feel so bad! But I did slather them in sunscreen it just didn't work.
Seven years ago today was my due date with Ainsley. I was so miserable and huge and ready for her to be born! She decided to wait 5 more days though. I can't believe it's been 7 years! I look at her and am amazed at the person she is becoming.
Renah finished pre - k and knows all of her letters and can count to 100 with a little help. She is readingf a few words and cannot wait for kindergarden. She defintely keeps me on my toes and we never know what is going to come out of her mouth! She is Wade's daughter for sure!
Mackenzie has 2 teeth now. She is pulling up on everything and trying her best to walk. She is babbling, "Da da", "Uh oh" and "dat" for that. "Ma ma" has been uttered only once or twice but she is a momma's girl! She is so happy and sweet. She has helped in the healing process for all of us.
Father's Day was a good day. The girls and I had a special picture blown up for Wade. It has him with Ainsley on his shoulders, Renah on her shoulders and Mackenzie on her shoulders (with a little help!). This is a picture he has wanted for awhile and when his parents were here for Mackenzie's dedication in March, we had some family pictures made. That was one of them. The girls and I had it blown up and framed. I made a big dinner and we celebrated with another family that we adore. Even though it's been alm ost 3 years since I lost my dad, I thought about him a lot yesterday.
It has been a fun but busy summer so far. Wade has Greek most of the summer so I have been trying to come up with things for the girls and I to do. They had a lemonade stand last week and raked in the cash! They want to do it all the time now!
Well, I'm off to do some reading. I have joined a book club and just got the book tonight so I have a lot of reading to do! Enjoy the heat!