My son would have been 15 months old by now. Seeing little boys at the age he would be always makes my heart ache. Then looking at my Mackenzie makes me so thankful for her and her life. Being a mom to 3 girls gets a lot of comments just as a mom to all boys or a mom with kids very close in age I'm sure gets. Almost every time we go out someone makes the comment about me having all girls and no boys. I usually smile and nod but not Ainsley and Renah (especially Ainsley). They always tells them "No, I have a brother!" Then they proceed to tell them that he either died or lives in heaven. The person usually looks at me with that look of sorrow and pity, smiles at the girls and walks away.
Ainsley for awhile got upset with me because she felt like I was forgetting him. I didn't tell her that not a day goes by when I don't think of my son and what he would be like or look like. I didn't tell her that my arms will always ache for him or that every family picture will be incomplete. Instead I tried to explain to her that it's hard to tell everyone I meet that I have a son who isn't with us because it makes me sad to. She said she understood and now takes it upon herself to tell anyone who asks and sometimes those who don't.
I feel bad for the people when she tells them because you know it isn't what they expect to hear, but at the same time I am glad she remembers her brother, though she never met him. She loves him and includes him in my count of children and in my mother in law's count of grandchildren.
I wish I did not belong to this club of mothers. I wish I didn't get that feeling of dread when someone tells me they are pregnant for fear that they may become part of this club. I hate that fear. I hope my girls eventually do understand why it isn't my conversation starter, but I also hope they always remember him.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
1st day of summer!
Wow it was hot today! First day of summer and it hit 100 degrees! We hit the pool! When I woke up this morning I contemplated going to the Y to work out then take the girls swiming in the wonderful pool but remembered that Mackenzie has a cough and while the Dr said she is fine and not contagious the child watch people don't believe me and will call me from my work out after the first cough. So instead I knew I had some errands to run, but I told the girls to get their suits on and if they didn't ask me over and over when we were going to the pool, we could go after we did the errands.
They did great and it worked out that Wade could join us! Unfortunately, our sunscreen must be old and did not work so we all got burned, except Mackenzie who was under her shaded flotie most of the time. This is the girls first real burn and I feel so bad! But I did slather them in sunscreen it just didn't work.
Seven years ago today was my due date with Ainsley. I was so miserable and huge and ready for her to be born! She decided to wait 5 more days though. I can't believe it's been 7 years! I look at her and am amazed at the person she is becoming.
Renah finished pre - k and knows all of her letters and can count to 100 with a little help. She is readingf a few words and cannot wait for kindergarden. She defintely keeps me on my toes and we never know what is going to come out of her mouth! She is Wade's daughter for sure!
Mackenzie has 2 teeth now. She is pulling up on everything and trying her best to walk. She is babbling, "Da da", "Uh oh" and "dat" for that. "Ma ma" has been uttered only once or twice but she is a momma's girl! She is so happy and sweet. She has helped in the healing process for all of us.
Father's Day was a good day. The girls and I had a special picture blown up for Wade. It has him with Ainsley on his shoulders, Renah on her shoulders and Mackenzie on her shoulders (with a little help!). This is a picture he has wanted for awhile and when his parents were here for Mackenzie's dedication in March, we had some family pictures made. That was one of them. The girls and I had it blown up and framed. I made a big dinner and we celebrated with another family that we adore. Even though it's been alm ost 3 years since I lost my dad, I thought about him a lot yesterday.
It has been a fun but busy summer so far. Wade has Greek most of the summer so I have been trying to come up with things for the girls and I to do. They had a lemonade stand last week and raked in the cash! They want to do it all the time now!
Well, I'm off to do some reading. I have joined a book club and just got the book tonight so I have a lot of reading to do! Enjoy the heat!
They did great and it worked out that Wade could join us! Unfortunately, our sunscreen must be old and did not work so we all got burned, except Mackenzie who was under her shaded flotie most of the time. This is the girls first real burn and I feel so bad! But I did slather them in sunscreen it just didn't work.
Seven years ago today was my due date with Ainsley. I was so miserable and huge and ready for her to be born! She decided to wait 5 more days though. I can't believe it's been 7 years! I look at her and am amazed at the person she is becoming.
Renah finished pre - k and knows all of her letters and can count to 100 with a little help. She is readingf a few words and cannot wait for kindergarden. She defintely keeps me on my toes and we never know what is going to come out of her mouth! She is Wade's daughter for sure!
Mackenzie has 2 teeth now. She is pulling up on everything and trying her best to walk. She is babbling, "Da da", "Uh oh" and "dat" for that. "Ma ma" has been uttered only once or twice but she is a momma's girl! She is so happy and sweet. She has helped in the healing process for all of us.
Father's Day was a good day. The girls and I had a special picture blown up for Wade. It has him with Ainsley on his shoulders, Renah on her shoulders and Mackenzie on her shoulders (with a little help!). This is a picture he has wanted for awhile and when his parents were here for Mackenzie's dedication in March, we had some family pictures made. That was one of them. The girls and I had it blown up and framed. I made a big dinner and we celebrated with another family that we adore. Even though it's been alm ost 3 years since I lost my dad, I thought about him a lot yesterday.
It has been a fun but busy summer so far. Wade has Greek most of the summer so I have been trying to come up with things for the girls and I to do. They had a lemonade stand last week and raked in the cash! They want to do it all the time now!
Well, I'm off to do some reading. I have joined a book club and just got the book tonight so I have a lot of reading to do! Enjoy the heat!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Calendars
When Wade and I first got married, we were so broke! When I had a few extra dollars one month I found a magnetic calendar for the refridgerator. We have moved something like 9 times since I bought that thing. When I get it up in whichever house we move to, it is home to me. I love that thing! When Wade deployed both times I put a daily countdown on each day and every evening I was able to cross off another day that I had made it through.
One of the things I love is around the last few days of the month I erase the previous month and start filling in for the next month. I love the fresh new month look - very few things scheduled, it's like a new beginning to be better every month! However, the past few months i don't get that clean calendar very long, as soon as I set up for the new month it gets filled with activities and meetings, tests, etc.
I am looking forward to summer with my girls, less schedules and more play! Ainsley and Renah are understanding more of what summer break is and are looking forward to it as well. In a few weeks, however of two little girls arguing and constantly picking up Mackenzie i may be singing a different tune ;) but for right now we are on a countdown to summer!
Mackenzie turned 8 months old yesterday. She is wanting to walk so badly and loves to stand up. She sleeps through the night most of the time. She is such happy baby and her big sisters are so good with her! Though I do have to watch them closely due to the overwhelming urge to carry her around constantly! We are doing well right now just trying to catch up now that classes are over. I am not taking summer classes but Wade is taking Greek I and II. I guess that is about all for now. Hope you are having a nice spring!
Christina
One of the things I love is around the last few days of the month I erase the previous month and start filling in for the next month. I love the fresh new month look - very few things scheduled, it's like a new beginning to be better every month! However, the past few months i don't get that clean calendar very long, as soon as I set up for the new month it gets filled with activities and meetings, tests, etc.
I am looking forward to summer with my girls, less schedules and more play! Ainsley and Renah are understanding more of what summer break is and are looking forward to it as well. In a few weeks, however of two little girls arguing and constantly picking up Mackenzie i may be singing a different tune ;) but for right now we are on a countdown to summer!
Mackenzie turned 8 months old yesterday. She is wanting to walk so badly and loves to stand up. She sleeps through the night most of the time. She is such happy baby and her big sisters are so good with her! Though I do have to watch them closely due to the overwhelming urge to carry her around constantly! We are doing well right now just trying to catch up now that classes are over. I am not taking summer classes but Wade is taking Greek I and II. I guess that is about all for now. Hope you are having a nice spring!
Christina
Friday, April 16, 2010
How bad do I stink at this?
OK really? Almost two months since I've blogged! We have been really busy the last month or 12. Wade set some pictures up on my new computer so I think I can post some today. On March 21st we had Mackenzie's dedication. It was on the weekend our son would have turned 1. it was difficult but we had so many great friends there and Wade's parents and sister came up. Then came Easter and the Easter program at church - that was exhausting! And of course as always, classes, papers, kids, cleaning, cooking.... the list goes on! But we are doing really well. Ainsley and Renah are finishing up their year and are doing so good with Mackenzie who is growing entirely too fast! Here are some pictures:
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Still here!
Wow things have been busy lately! I guess that comes with the territory of three kids and our Master's program. Some god friends of ours had their first baby on Sunday. I was privileged to help do some coaching for her. She had a long, hard labor but did wonderfully and of course made me want to be pregnant again! We do plan on having another one but are waiting a little while.
Wade and I are leading a couples class on Wednesday nights at church. We are doing the Love Dare right now. We feel it is so important to give couples some time together and learn how to be better together.
God has shown Himself so faithful to us. We have some extra money coming in that is not only going to supply us with our needs, but also enable us to do some extra fun things with the girls. I am so excited about it! Well, I need to clean my house and shower as I just did a boot camp workout this morning (it's exhausting!) I hope you have a great day and a blessed week!
Wade and I are leading a couples class on Wednesday nights at church. We are doing the Love Dare right now. We feel it is so important to give couples some time together and learn how to be better together.
God has shown Himself so faithful to us. We have some extra money coming in that is not only going to supply us with our needs, but also enable us to do some extra fun things with the girls. I am so excited about it! Well, I need to clean my house and shower as I just did a boot camp workout this morning (it's exhausting!) I hope you have a great day and a blessed week!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Blessings
Last week was a good week. It didn't start out that way, Sunday afternoon I started feeling bad and by Sunday night I was sick, sick sick! Monday, Wade had an intensive class that began, the girls were off school and I was miserable! I felt so bad because I was really looking forward to the girls being off school for us to do something fun but I didn't move off the couch except to make a bottle and hand the baby to one of them.
The girls children's church is going to Kidsfest in May. At least one parent has to go with them so it is not a cheap trip especially for a family of five living on student loans. We told the girls we would try and save the money for us to go. Ainsley decided to try and raise some money as well by making and selling flowers from little foam cut outs. She has them priced from .60 to 9000! She asks anyone who comes to the house to buy one and is surprised that no one has chosen the 9000 one!
One of the things Ainsley said she also wanted to save money for was a DS. We wanted to get them one for Christmas but we just couldn't afford it. A friend heard her talking about it and later told us she had one she did not play and wanted to know if it was ok to give it to them. It was such a kind gift and the girls love it! Last week I did a lot of cleaning around the house and ended up finding one of our old gameboys as well, so now the girls have one of each and are doing well with sharing them.
Saturday, I got a call from a friend who works with some greek letter clubs. She wanted to know if I had anything that needed to be done around the house. I had been cleaning all week but had not tackled the laundry yet. I had so many clean loads that needed to be folded. She brought 5 girls over here and for about 2 -3 hours folded my laundry. I am still working on getting it put away but that was such an enormous help. I think it was the best gift ever!
The week ended with an amazing dinner and visit from our great friends Steve and Kathy Fisher. We met them in Italy when we lived there. They ran the Hospitality House and have been friends, and mentors since. We haven't seen them since Ainsley was Mackenzie's age. It was such a great time and a great end to a great week. We are so blessed to have such amazing friends and we are so thankful for them. Well, I think my coffee has kicked in so I am going to start working on putting away more laundry! have a great day!
The girls children's church is going to Kidsfest in May. At least one parent has to go with them so it is not a cheap trip especially for a family of five living on student loans. We told the girls we would try and save the money for us to go. Ainsley decided to try and raise some money as well by making and selling flowers from little foam cut outs. She has them priced from .60 to 9000! She asks anyone who comes to the house to buy one and is surprised that no one has chosen the 9000 one!
One of the things Ainsley said she also wanted to save money for was a DS. We wanted to get them one for Christmas but we just couldn't afford it. A friend heard her talking about it and later told us she had one she did not play and wanted to know if it was ok to give it to them. It was such a kind gift and the girls love it! Last week I did a lot of cleaning around the house and ended up finding one of our old gameboys as well, so now the girls have one of each and are doing well with sharing them.
Saturday, I got a call from a friend who works with some greek letter clubs. She wanted to know if I had anything that needed to be done around the house. I had been cleaning all week but had not tackled the laundry yet. I had so many clean loads that needed to be folded. She brought 5 girls over here and for about 2 -3 hours folded my laundry. I am still working on getting it put away but that was such an enormous help. I think it was the best gift ever!
The week ended with an amazing dinner and visit from our great friends Steve and Kathy Fisher. We met them in Italy when we lived there. They ran the Hospitality House and have been friends, and mentors since. We haven't seen them since Ainsley was Mackenzie's age. It was such a great time and a great end to a great week. We are so blessed to have such amazing friends and we are so thankful for them. Well, I think my coffee has kicked in so I am going to start working on putting away more laundry! have a great day!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Too bad I am not creative with titles...
We are 16 days into the new year and wow it has been crazy! Wade and I have had class all week from 8-5 in Human Sexuality. The class was alright but from about Thusday morning on I don't think I heard much. It is hard to listen for that long! Wade unfortunately has another intensive class next week. Regular classes start the week after that.
Last night was our first night home in a week due to having no heat here. It was so stinking cold! Thankfully, we have some amazing friends who let a family of five stay with them for a week! It was so good to be home and to have it warm in the house. But of course today, the temps have warmed up quite a bit. I don't care my heat is still on!
Mackenzie will be 4 months old on Monday. I cannot believe it has been that long! She is starting to wean due to the fact that we had to supplement with formula so early. It is frustrating because I really wanted to breastfeed her longer. I have never had an adequate milk supply though I have tried all I can to increase it. I enjoy that special time with my girls and am not ready to give it up but we are both getting frustrated with it.
I feel like a crazy person when it comes to breastfeeding because half of me says "it's ok, at least she is healthy and getting nourishment from the bottle" the other (crazy) half says " Just keep it up" I know that breastfeeding is best for her and I have tried so hard I'm just tired.
Well, I guess that is enough discussion of my breastfeeding - I can't imagine someone's disappointment when they google something else and get this! I hope you are having a great beginning 2010 nd getting used to writing that!
Christina
Last night was our first night home in a week due to having no heat here. It was so stinking cold! Thankfully, we have some amazing friends who let a family of five stay with them for a week! It was so good to be home and to have it warm in the house. But of course today, the temps have warmed up quite a bit. I don't care my heat is still on!
Mackenzie will be 4 months old on Monday. I cannot believe it has been that long! She is starting to wean due to the fact that we had to supplement with formula so early. It is frustrating because I really wanted to breastfeed her longer. I have never had an adequate milk supply though I have tried all I can to increase it. I enjoy that special time with my girls and am not ready to give it up but we are both getting frustrated with it.
I feel like a crazy person when it comes to breastfeeding because half of me says "it's ok, at least she is healthy and getting nourishment from the bottle" the other (crazy) half says " Just keep it up" I know that breastfeeding is best for her and I have tried so hard I'm just tired.
Well, I guess that is enough discussion of my breastfeeding - I can't imagine someone's disappointment when they google something else and get this! I hope you are having a great beginning 2010 nd getting used to writing that!
Christina
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