Year end review

Yeah, I'm a little late but I've been busy. Ending 2011 was bittersweet. Believe me, I was happy to see it go - it was not a good year. But, I hate that too. I judge the places I have lived by how I feel when I leave. If I don't want to leave, that has been a good environment. But if I am ready to go it probably hasn't been a good experience.
I was ready for 2011 to be over! I have 2 more babies to hold in heaven after this year, I have a few less friends to call on after 2011. It was a tough year in many areas.
Granted there were some good things, I'm spending a lot more time with my girls thanks to home schooling, I feel a lot more confident in my education as well. But overall I was excited to kick 2011 to the curb! I let a lot of situations get me down and I let what some people say and do affect me too much. But I'm over it and I'm not going to let the opinion of some change me.
I am a good friend, I will give and give to those I love and sometimes that is thrown back in my face. But I choose to let it go and only have those in my life who appreciate that.
I guess that is my resolution this year. I choose to be happy and forget the past so it doesn't ruin my present. I hope your new year is beginning well and you too have kicked your past to the curb!
Until next time!

Merry Christmas!

I hope you had a great Christmas. We had a wonderful time together. My house is a mess but we had fun! Mackenzie really enjoyed opening presents this year she would open one and say "oh my goodness!" it was so stinking cute! After all the presents were opened she got up and hugged me and said "thank you my kitchen and my babies!" The older two have really enjoyed their new to them DS and bikes. Hopefully I can get the house in order tomorrow! Enjoy the rest of your holiday!

Renah's 7!!

On Thanksgiving, Renah turned 7. With the busyness of the season I haven't been able to post but I wanted to write her own post. Renah has always been tall and at 16 months younger than Ainsley she is less than an inch shorter. The doctor said she is taller than the average 8 1/2 year old! She and Ainsley both are just about in my size shoe. When they get new boots, they are so excited that I can borrow them! Renah has always been into babies and I am pretty sure she will be an obstetrician when she grows up. She loves watching birth shows and can give lots of information! She is doing well with home school but gets frustrated when she doesn't get it right away. She has and continues to teach me patience! She is a little ham and even when I've reached my limit with her, I can't imagine our family without her!

These girls

These girls can make me smile, make me cry, give me the most joy and make me want to tear my hair out all within a few minute span. But I love them so much and am so grateful they have been given to me to raise.

Halloween 2011

There is a new app that lets me blog from my phone. It also let's me add my pictures from my phone which means lots more pictures! My girls had a good Halloween, Ainsley was an 80's girl, Renah was a bride, and Mackenzie was Minnie mouse. We had a trunk or treat at church Sunday night and Monday night we went to another churches fall festival. It was so cold Monday night we didn't stay long but the girls racked up on candy those nights. So I'm enjoying this app so maybe I'll blog more!

Tough days

I had been hoping to come on here and announce the impending arrival of our 4th child but earlier this week I went in to see the heartbeat and there was none. I am sad and frustrated, this is the second miscarriage this year. We didn't announce the other one because there seemed to be problems from the start, but this one I thought would be better, we even told the girls. They were so excited and little mother hens fussing over everything, it was precious. We had to tell them last night and after we lost our son (3 years ago this week ironically) I never wanted to have to give them news like that again, but I had to and it was devastating to them. However, Ainsley with her beautiful child like faith said, " can we still pray for a miracle that when you go to the doctor again everything will be ok?" I love these girls.
I hate miscarriage. It takes away the beauty of pregnancy, it makes you scared for every pregnant woman you see no matter how far along she is. It takes away so much and I am tired of them for anyone! This Saturday is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and just like I have for the past 3 years since my first loss, I will remember my babies and all the other ones lost.

When did this little sweetie get so big? Mackenzie grace is 2 today. She has brought so much joy into our lives. She has the sweetest smile and personality. Everyone who meets her loves her. Her sisters are still smitten with her even when she gets into their stuff as she does more and more now! I cannot imagine life without this precious little bundle! Enjoy these shots of my cutie!

(These pictures are not in order as I can't get them to load right. )