One year

Today is another one of those milestones I have dreaded. This is the one year anniversary of us finding out Mishael, our son, died. It is bitter sweet as I look at my beautiful daughter, knowing she would not exist had this day last year not happened.
Today also marks the National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss. So when I am grieving for my son, I know there are so many other mothers that are experiencing my pain. If you think about it, take a few minutes to pray for those of us grieving and remembering and to praise God for the babies who are safe and healthy.

Can't expect much on little sleep!

I haven't meant to ignore my blog but I have been a bit busy and sleep deprived. Mackenzie is such an easy going baby. The girls are so in love with her. We had her first doctor's appt on Monday. She is not back up to birth weight yet and according to their scale she has lost weight since leaving the hospital, so I may have to start supplementing with formula soon. I take her for another weigh in Monday and if she hasn't put the weight back on I have to. I have never been able to fully breast feed and I am trying so hard but I'm afraid I still don't have enough milk.
She has been to my classes with me and is so good, most people forget she is there. She doesn't however like to sleep in her bassinet. She is fine in our arms, the bouncy seat, or the boppy but the bassinet is flat and doesn't hold her close so she hates it! Well that is it for tonight she has a gassy tummy so I need to help her. Have a good evening!

Mackenzie Grace

I got home a few hours ago. Wade and Ainsley are at the store, Renah and Mackenzie are sleeping so I thought I would post some pictures. She is an amazing baby and I am so thankful for her and her sisters! This was a much different hospital stay than the last time. So much joy compared to so much pain and yet without the pain of losing Mishael, there would not be the joy of my Grace. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

She's here!

I was awakened at 5am this morning to my water breaking. Mackenzie Grace greeted us at 5:17pm this evening. Almost 2 weeks early weighing in at 8 lbs 3 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. She is absolutely beautiful. Pictures are up on facebook, and I will get some up here soon. I'm going to try and get some sleep now. Have a great day!

Oops i keep forgetting to post!

I read my blog list daily but can't remember to write my own. Maybe because things are not very interesting right now. I have had 2 weeks worth of classes so far. It's going alright but sitting in a class for almost 3 hours at a time is brutal! I only have Thursday classes so I am going all day. 8 am to 9:30 pm with a break from 4:45 - 6:15. I am 37 weeks pregnant now but have basically been pregnant since July 2008 so I am ready to hold this little girl. I am getting really uncomfortable and huge.
Right now I am watching Regis and Kelly, and I can't get over how quiet it is in the house. The girls are in school and Wade is in class. Tuesdays are nice but it is hard to get used to and just as soon as I do, I will have a little one to take care of! I am really wanting to go shopping but we can't right now.
I am not trying to be ungrateful because God has been good to us and is suppling our needs. But we don't get our student loans in until the end of the month so we are just being very careful. But there are just times when I want to go shopping. Sometimes it is fun just going to look, but right now I just want to go buy something! Walking around is painful so I don't want to go walk around to not buy anything!
Sorry, I'm not trying to complain, and I know we have to make sacrifices right now while we are in school. It will seem worth it one day. I am enjoying all the time I get to spend with Wade and that couldn't happen if we had jobs that paid us! I hope you had a great Labor Day weekend a great rest of the week. Thanks for listening to my whining today!

Things going on

So it had been a little while since my last post, things have been busy. Wade and I are starting our Master's, and due to that last week had orientation/retreat about 20 minutes from here. It was a 3 day thing that was mandatory. The scheduling for the girls was a huge nightmare! We had three student we know who were able to work it out for us. The retreat was good in the fact that we meet some great people who will be on this journey with us. The sessions we sat through were long and sometimes mind numbing! But the friend we have made was worth it. We have already all had a dinner together and a few lunches.
Wade's classes started yesterday, mine are tomorrow. I was able to get all my classes on Thursdays and while it makes for a very long day (8 am - 9:30 pm) I felt it would be easier to get back into things after the baby if i only had one day of classes. Wade has 3 out of 4 of my classes with me just in case I need a little extra time.
I am nervous but excited. All of my classes are 2 hours and 45min long so that is a little daunting! The professors we met on the retreat were so very supportive though, they like most people were a little surprised that I am taking classes this semester but I feel this is God's plan and I know He will give me the strength I need. But if you think about it, say a prayer for us as we embark on the journey as we will definitely need it!

First day a few days ago

So this post is a little late, the girls had their first day on Wednesday - oops! Ainsley started first grade and Renah started pre K. Unfortunately for her, she has a phase in day on Wednesday and will have another one Monday then will begin daily on Tuesday. She has had a hard time with going one day and not the others yet, but I'm sure will miss these days soon!