The big day!

Aside from the day you give birth, the day you find out the gender (should you choose) is one of the biggest days of pregnancy in my opinion. For me is that day. Along with the excitement however, I have much anxiety. I will be honest and tell you I I am terrified that I am going to look at the screen and see no heartbeat again. I hope this is nerves an not a premonition but there is no guarantee of a pregnancy producing a live baby. I hate that my circumstances have led to these feelings but I can't change them. I hope I will be back later with good news of our little bundle. Until then...
Christina

I don't know where the time goes!

Ok, I never mean for it to go this long in between posts but life is really busy right now. In fact, I should be doing homework as I am behind about 3 weeks and have 2 15 page papers due in a couple of weeks. However, I have been wanting to come on here and announce that we are expecting baby #4! I am 15 weeks along now and while this week and the next 2 are the most scary for me I am very optimistic about this pregnancy. I will find out in just a couple of weeks what we are having. Hubby of course wants a boy, but I am rooting for more pink. I love having girls and while I would be happy either way, my preference is a girl. Well, I have to get busy on my homework before I pass out from exhaustion! I'll try to come back soon and fill in more of what has been happening with us.

Struggles

It's hard when a friend does something to you that you know as a friend you wouldn't have done to them. The last several months I have been struggling with this. Forgiveness is a daily chore at times and while the forgiveness is tough I think not letting bitterness take residence in your heart is more difficult. As a Christian I know how important forgiveness is to my walk with Him. But if forgiveness meant we could forget the wrongs done against us, that would be wonderful. As humans it is out natural desire to want to hurt someone the way they have hurt us, but Jesus tells us that vengeance belongs to Him not us. Are we afraid that He really won't defend us? I'm struggling with this at the moment, I want to let Jesus handle this situation but at the same time I want the ones who has hurt me so deeply to understand how they have hurt me. I don't want to hurt them in the same way because I wouldn't knowingly do that to someone I call friend but I wish they could feel the pain I am feeling and blow this has given to every aspect of my life. I know I will grow stronger out of this but I don't want to also grow more jaded about friends.

Bad blogger!

So this is my 200th post and I guess I was waiting for earth shattering blog material to post it! Life has been really crazy lately. I have been on break from my classes until this week but have been working with the girls. We started a new curriculum after Christmas and it is much better for us. It is a lot more self driven rather than me having to come up with lesson plans and teaching every day. Mackenzie is getting big and into everything! So my days are full to overflowing daily. I feel like I don't sit down to rest until around 10pm on most days. I'm not complaining mind you I'm just a little overwhelmed some days. I feel as though my house is never clean, the girls room especially. Oh well, I guess that comes with the territory of having my girls home with me all the time. I guess that's about all for now, I'm just going to add a few pics of my cuties. Have a great day!

Year end review

Yeah, I'm a little late but I've been busy. Ending 2011 was bittersweet. Believe me, I was happy to see it go - it was not a good year. But, I hate that too. I judge the places I have lived by how I feel when I leave. If I don't want to leave, that has been a good environment. But if I am ready to go it probably hasn't been a good experience.
I was ready for 2011 to be over! I have 2 more babies to hold in heaven after this year, I have a few less friends to call on after 2011. It was a tough year in many areas.
Granted there were some good things, I'm spending a lot more time with my girls thanks to home schooling, I feel a lot more confident in my education as well. But overall I was excited to kick 2011 to the curb! I let a lot of situations get me down and I let what some people say and do affect me too much. But I'm over it and I'm not going to let the opinion of some change me.
I am a good friend, I will give and give to those I love and sometimes that is thrown back in my face. But I choose to let it go and only have those in my life who appreciate that.
I guess that is my resolution this year. I choose to be happy and forget the past so it doesn't ruin my present. I hope your new year is beginning well and you too have kicked your past to the curb!
Until next time!

Merry Christmas!

I hope you had a great Christmas. We had a wonderful time together. My house is a mess but we had fun! Mackenzie really enjoyed opening presents this year she would open one and say "oh my goodness!" it was so stinking cute! After all the presents were opened she got up and hugged me and said "thank you my kitchen and my babies!" The older two have really enjoyed their new to them DS and bikes. Hopefully I can get the house in order tomorrow! Enjoy the rest of your holiday!

Renah's 7!!

On Thanksgiving, Renah turned 7. With the busyness of the season I haven't been able to post but I wanted to write her own post. Renah has always been tall and at 16 months younger than Ainsley she is less than an inch shorter. The doctor said she is taller than the average 8 1/2 year old! She and Ainsley both are just about in my size shoe. When they get new boots, they are so excited that I can borrow them! Renah has always been into babies and I am pretty sure she will be an obstetrician when she grows up. She loves watching birth shows and can give lots of information! She is doing well with home school but gets frustrated when she doesn't get it right away. She has and continues to teach me patience! She is a little ham and even when I've reached my limit with her, I can't imagine our family without her!