Defining Moments

Struggles

2012-02-09T13:04:00.001-05:00

It's hard when a friend does something to you that you know as a friend you wouldn't have done to them. The last several months I have been struggling with this. Forgiveness is a daily chore at times and while the forgiveness is tough I think not letting bitterness take residence in your heart is more difficult. As a Christian I know how important forgiveness is to my walk with Him. But if forgiveness meant we could forget the wrongs done against us, that would be wonderful. As humans it is out natural desire to want to hurt someone the way they have hurt us, but Jesus tells us that vengeance belongs to Him not us. Are we afraid that He really won't defend us? I'm struggling with this at the moment, I want to let Jesus handle this situation but at the same time I want the ones who has hurt me so deeply to understand how they have hurt me. I don't want to hurt them in the same way because I wouldn't knowingly do that to someone I call friend but I wish they could feel the pain I am feeling and blow this has given to every aspect of my life. I know I will grow stronger out of this but I don't want to also grow more jaded about friends.

Bad blogger!

2012-02-02T22:04:00.001-05:00

So this is my 200th post and I guess I was waiting for earth shattering blog material to post it! Life has been really crazy lately. I have been on break from my classes until this week but have been working with the girls. We started a new curriculum after Christmas and it is much better for us. It is a lot more self driven rather than me having to come up with lesson plans and teaching every day. Mackenzie is getting big and into everything! So my days are full to overflowing daily. I feel like I don't sit down to rest until around 10pm on most days. I'm not complaining mind you I'm just a little overwhelmed some days. I feel as though my house is never clean, the girls room especially. Oh well, I guess that comes with the territory of having my girls home with me all the time. I guess that's about all for now, I'm just going to add a few pics of my cuties. Have a great day!

Year end review

2012-01-06T00:05:00.001-05:00

Yeah, I'm a little late but I've been busy. Ending 2011 was bittersweet. Believe me, I was happy to see it go - it was not a good year. But, I hate that too. I judge the places I have lived by how I feel when I leave. If I don't want to leave, that has been a good environment. But if I am ready to go it probably hasn't been a good experience.
I was ready for 2011 to be over! I have 2 more babies to hold in heaven after this year, I have a few less friends to call on after 2011. It was a tough year in many areas.
Granted there were some good things, I'm spending a lot more time with my girls thanks to home schooling, I feel a lot more confident in my education as well. But overall I was excited to kick 2011 to the curb! I let a lot of situations get me down and I let what some people say and do affect me too much. But I'm over it and I'm not going to let the opinion of some change me.
I am a good friend, I will give and give to those I love and sometimes that is thrown back in my face. But I choose to let it go and only have those in my life who appreciate that.
I guess that is my resolution this year. I choose to be happy and forget the past so it doesn't ruin my present. I hope your new year is beginning well and you too have kicked your past to the curb!
Until next time!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-26T22:58:00.001-05:00

I hope you had a great Christmas. We had a wonderful time together. My house is a mess but we had fun! Mackenzie really enjoyed opening presents this year she would open one and say "oh my goodness!" it was so stinking cute! After all the presents were opened she got up and hugged me and said "thank you my kitchen and my babies!" The older two have really enjoyed their new to them DS and bikes. Hopefully I can get the house in order tomorrow! Enjoy the rest of your holiday!

Renah's 7!!

2011-12-20T10:23:00.001-05:00

On Thanksgiving, Renah turned 7. With the busyness of the season I haven't been able to post but I wanted to write her own post. Renah has always been tall and at 16 months younger than Ainsley she is less than an inch shorter. The doctor said she is taller than the average 8 1/2 year old! She and Ainsley both are just about in my size shoe. When they get new boots, they are so excited that I can borrow them! Renah has always been into babies and I am pretty sure she will be an obstetrician when she grows up. She loves watching birth shows and can give lots of information! She is doing well with home school but gets frustrated when she doesn't get it right away. She has and continues to teach me patience! She is a little ham and even when I've reached my limit with her, I can't imagine our family without her!

These girls

2011-11-16T00:07:00.001-05:00

These girls can make me smile, make me cry, give me the most joy and make me want to tear my hair out all within a few minute span. But I love them so much and am so grateful they have been given to me to raise.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-01T22:13:00.001-04:00

There is a new app that lets me blog from my phone. It also let's me add my pictures from my phone which means lots more pictures! My girls had a good Halloween, Ainsley was an 80's girl, Renah was a bride, and Mackenzie was Minnie mouse. We had a trunk or treat at church Sunday night and Monday night we went to another churches fall festival. It was so cold Monday night we didn't stay long but the girls racked up on candy those nights. So I'm enjoying this app so maybe I'll blog more!

Tough days

2011-10-12T10:17:00.002-04:00

I had been hoping to come on here and announce the impending arrival of our 4th child but earlier this week I went in to see the heartbeat and there was none. I am sad and frustrated, this is the second miscarriage this year. We didn't announce the other one because there seemed to be problems from the start, but this one I thought would be better, we even told the girls. They were so excited and little mother hens fussing over everything, it was precious. We had to tell them last night and after we lost our son (3 years ago this week ironically) I never wanted to have to give them news like that again, but I had to and it was devastating to them. However, Ainsley with her beautiful child like faith said, " can we still pray for a miracle that when you go to the doctor again everything will be ok?" I love these girls.
I hate miscarriage. It takes away the beauty of pregnancy, it makes you scared for every pregnant woman you see no matter how far along she is. It takes away so much and I am tired of them for anyone! This Saturday is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and just like I have for the past 3 years since my first loss, I will remember my babies and all the other ones lost.

2011-09-18T22:33:00.003-04:00

When did this little sweetie get so big? Mackenzie grace is 2 today. She has brought so much joy into our lives. She has the sweetest smile and personality. Everyone who meets her loves her. Her sisters are still smitten with her even when she gets into their stuff as she does more and more now! I cannot imagine life without this precious little bundle! Enjoy these shots of my cutie!

(These pictures are not in order as I can't get them to load right. )

Kids- you gotts love em!

2011-08-30T08:45:00.002-04:00

I was reading Stie's blog about her daughter and her "wrinkles". It reminded me that a couple of months ago, my girls and I were walking around Bed, Bath and Beyond when Ainsley proceeds to tell me about a commercial she saw for Roc wrinkle cream. I'm half listening because I'm in B,B,and B and "oh look at these pots!" and "how have I ever cracked an egg on my own without this new egg cracker thing?" Anyway, she keeps talking and tells me that this cream is supposed to make women look 10 years younger and takes away the deep wrinkles..."like the one on your forehead." So I put off buying the egg cracker thing until my feeble hands can no longer crack eggs, but I will probably forget what eggs even are in a few days considering my well advanced age and horribly wrinkled face!
My only highlight is that I'm buying her some Roc when she turns 33!

Embracing my OCD

2011-08-19T12:13:00.002-04:00

When my first daughter was born, I was not on a schedule at all. She ate when she was hungry, slept when she was tired, if we weren't home she did it where ever we were. It worked so well I continued it with my second daughter who was born 16 months later. My 3rd daughter was a little different. She was still laid back but put herself on a schedule pretty quickly. She knew what time was breast feeding time and she knew when it was bottle time and would let me know she knew! Her scheduling was pretty good for me, I am a list maker, very task oriented, and I love to label everything! I had also just started my Master's right before she was born so it was good for me to feel like I kind of of knew what the next hour would hold.
Fast forward almost 2 years, Mackenzie is still scheduled but we can fudge it a little if need be, I am still working on my Master's and will be starting to home school Ainsley and Renah in the next couple of weeks. Scheduling is keeping me sane. I sat down with the girls yesterday and make a chores list for them and me as well as a laundry schedule. Today I labeled my laundry baskets accordingly. I cannot tell you how good that makes me feel!
I do not want to be so rigid with my scheduling that I miss opportunities, but just feeling as though I have some kind of knowledge as to what needs to be done and when helps me from feeling overwhelmed with keeping a family fed and in (mostly) clean clothes! I just know that this stage in my life is super busy and there are always things that need to be done, I can either get them all done or nothing done! So this helps my OCD tendencies to feel that there is a plan and it has been well labeled! What helps you?

Taking the plunge!

2011-08-03T09:45:00.002-04:00

I haven't blogged in awhile just because we have been in the middle of a decision and I knew I would talk about it before we decided. We have decided to home school our girls this year. To some at first, it sounds crazy since Wade and I are both full time students ourselves, but I'm home with online classes and the flexibility this will give us will help so much! Not to mention the moving we will soon be starting and this can give our girls stability they wouldn't have in other situations. We have many reasons, and the biggest being we feel this is best for our family at this time. I don't hate public schools, though we didn't have the best experience last year, that isn't the reason we are doing this. Home schooling is something we have considered since we signed Ainsley up for kindergarten I think we both knew at some point it was going to happen.
Otherwise in this area, school starts tomorrow. Yes, you read that correctly, August 4th! I am not alone in thinking that is crazy!!! I feel as though summer has just started and school is back in session! Yesterday, I went to inform the girls schools that they will not be there and I had such a peace, it was wonderful! So we begin the day after Labor Day for our first day, which has already been designated "PJ day!" I am excited about this new challenging chapter and pray for strength to do well. So here's to a great school year where ever you go!

Amazing gel!

2011-07-18T08:59:00.002-04:00

I am not one to put products on my blog usually but I have come across an amazing gel that I had to share. Living here in the south, the humidity is crazy! I am letting my hair grow out and it's pretty heavy. So the heaviness of my hair along with the humidity makes for a hairstyle that usually ends up in a ponytail! I have a little curl but when I want blowdry my hair I usually have to roll it or at least curl the ends but like I said within a few minutes, the style is completely gone. Enter Garnier Survivor Gel . I put some in my hair as I was drying it Saturday night, and Sunday morning I hot rolled my hair and it stayed. Not only did it stay through church, this morning before I washed my hair, it still had some of the body from the hot rollers! It was a little hard to brush through but I'm ok with that if I can keep a hairstyle for more than a few minutes! I was a little skeptical but I am very happy with this gel! Give it a try- it is not a waste of money!

* I was not paid for this endorsment, I just really liked the product, but if Garnier would like to send me some product, I will not be offended!

My 2nd daughter

2011-06-28T10:25:00.003-04:00

I realized after the last post, I forgot to post after Renah's birthday. She turned 6 on her last birthday. This little girl keeps us on our toes! I always say she is the little girl written about in the poem about the little girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead,"when she was good she was very good, but when she was bad she was horrid!" That is my girls, she has such a sweet heart when she wants but when she is grumpy - look out! She has such a love of babies and wants to be an obstetrician when she grows up. She watched "Baby Story" like a cartoon and can tell you all about c-sections, natural births and epidurals. She makes life fun and enjoys every minute. I don't know what we would do without her!

She's 8!

2011-06-28T10:08:00.003-04:00

My beautiful first born turned 8 this past weekend. I know every parent says this but, where has the time gone? This little girl has such a huge heart and has so much compassion. Even though I wish I could keep her little forever, I am excited to see what God has in store for this girl. I am so thankful to be her mom!

Sum, Sum, Summertime!

2011-06-14T23:02:00.002-04:00

Well, I have been MIA lately! These online classes are much more intense than my classes I took at the seminary, but it is a good thing. I feel as though I am learning so much. I am just adjusting to having to do some kind of school work on a daily basis with something due every week! The girls are home for the summer and I was concerned at first with what I was going to do with them all day. Our cars are both acting up and do not have air and finances are tight so I knew we couldn't be driving all over the place. Then nana and papa showed up with a pool; the heavens opened and the angels sang The Hallelujah Chorus! The girls have been having so much fun in there. They are playing outside, and sleeping great at night!
I set up the carport as a little place in the shade for me with a table and chairs, fans and lights. It is really nice even when it is sweltering out! I can get my wireless out there so I can do my homework and be with the girls. Tonight after dinner, the were all playing in the pool then I had them get out to dry off. They started catching lightning bugs. Even Mackenzie and I got in on the fun. We put them in a jar for a little while but let them go when they looked like they needed more air! Mackenzie was determined to bring one in as a pet! I finally convinced her that it needed to stay out!
This is turning out to be a great summer even though I am still in school. I know the girls love the pool, but I think I may love it more. Not only does it keep some of the fighting away, but I don't feel bad that we aren't going anywhere because we are having so much fun here! I don't think I could ever repay nana and papa for the gift of a guilt free summer!
Because of where the pool is, if Mackenzie is napping or I need to get some things done inside, I can still see the girls from the kitchen window (which is where I am 98% of the time!) But I don't do that if Mackenzie is out there - I just don't feel safe doing that. If I do need to be away from the kitchen for a few minutes I have the girls get out and take a break until I can watch them again.
Renah has lost 2 teeth in the last month and was so excited! When Ainsley lost her last tooth, Renah was sad she had yet to lose any. That night the tooth fairy left Ainsley her money and Renah a note that told her that her time was coming to lose teeth and she would visit her when it did happen. I think Renah was more excited about her note than Ainsley was about her money!
I recently bought some cake decorating things from a friend in hope to start a small business of cake decorating. Not Cake Boss or anything crazy like that, but some cute cakes for a little extra income. I have had fun practicing and have used any excuse for a cake!
I made one for the girls last day of school, for their teachers, Wade's birthday/Memorial day, a going away party, Papa's birthday... I think you get the picture. I have tried my hand at marshmallow fondant and for my first attempt it wasn't so bad, but it needs work! I am really enjoying this though!
Well, this turned out longer than I expected so if you are still hanging in there, congratulations (maybe I should make you a cake!) I hope your summer is turning out as great as ours and you are enjoying our family time as well! Have a great day!

Mother's Day

2011-05-09T14:49:00.003-04:00

I had a great Mother's Day, we ended up staying home due to many circumstances but it was great none the less. The girls made me lunch and put the sweetest note on it saying, "I bet everyone wishes you were their mommy! Your the best" Wade took the girls to the store in the afternoon and I had the house to myself for about an hour. I just cleaned but I did it without having someone make messes behind me! Mackenzie is getting so big! She always wants to sit at the table with us at mealtime rather than her highchair because she is certain she is a big girl! She is coming up with new words and sentences on a daily basis. Mostly she loves being the center of attention and does whatever she can to get the spotlight! Friday was a Mother's Day breakfast with Ainsley in her classroom and today was a Mother's Day program with Renah. They were so sweet and I just cherish this time with them!
I am done Friday with this semester but start Monday with my summer classes, so I get a weekend off at least! This has been a tough semester getting used to being all online. When I'm studying, I know I should be cleaning and visa versa. In any given day there are at least 15-20 things that I need to be doing, some days it gets done and others not so much. But I am surviving and my family is getting a cooked dinner (most nights!) Well, I have laundry calling and the grocery store and a play date in a couple of hours so I need to get busy. Have a great day!

This may make step on some toes but I really don't mind!

2011-04-08T12:39:00.002-04:00

I don't usually use this blog for politics mostly because politics irritate me! But as an American I cannot stand by and watch this happen without trying to get my voice heard. You may not feel as strongly as I do about this because you may not realize what some soldiers and their families go through for your protection. Yes, I am personally affected by this but so are thousands of people today. But our military affects all of us.
As an enlisted soldier, many live paycheck to paycheck. The pay is so small for some that they qualify for government aid (ironic huh?). Why aren't more two income families? Well, for one they move a lot! One can't find a decent job that is willing to pay and train for 2-3 years. Some are young and undereducated and can only get certain jobs. If stationed overseas many of the better paying jobs go to the foreign nationals and the lower paying jobs are open to the soldier spouses. And some choose not to so to keep some kind of stability within their families when the soldier is gone for a year or more. Or to be able to spend time together as a family when they are home. Imagine not seeing your spouse for a year or more at a time, he's home for not quite that long and is gone again. There is no wonder the divorce rates are high.
What happens to that family who does live off post? If they aren't paid neither is their rent, they no longer have a place to live. There is not enough on post housing for the families. Or what about transportation when their car is repossessed? The soldier will be punished for not showing up to no pay work!
Put yourself in their position, no matter how much you love your job, unless you are independently wealthy, you couldn't do it for free of half what they pay you. You would quit. But our military has a contract and can't quit, they have to stay and accept what the government gives them. We have to do what we can to help these brave men and women who live at the whims of our fickle government.
Please do your part, contact your state reps, your Congressman, and beyond. Let them know we are still a democracy and our voice must be heard! Copy this blog and post it to yours. We need to get this out there. It isn't fair to our military to not stand behind them regardless of how you feel politically. We take stands for animals and the trees, please please take a stand for a soldier and their rights!
Christina Hinson

Spring has sprung?

2011-03-28T11:36:00.000-04:00

The last 3 weeks one of us has been on spring break around here. I wish it could have been together but one day we will be able to use the girls spring break as a little family time. Last week the girls were home so I did all my work for the week at the beginning of the week so I could spend time with them. It helped that it was my first week in a new session so the work load was not crazy! Mackenzie and I got sick and I didn't sleep for 2 nights so Thursday and Friday I was a little out of it, but the girls were so helpful and played with her so I could rest a little. I really enjoyed having them home and made me very ready for summer!
Friday night before bed, Ainsley started crying and saying she was feeling fat and like she had gained "40 pounds in the last few weeks!" It broke my heart and we talked and I sent her to bed. I didn't feel like I made much progress so I called her back to me and we talked more. It turned out that lately her clothes had become tight and it made her feel fat. I explained that she had just hit a growth spurt - most of her clothes were a 6 and she is nearly 8! Then I told her we would go get some new pants tomorrow. I was so glad I called her back to talk more. Poor girl was miserable and carrying that around for awhile.
The next day we went to get her some new clothes and I had her try things on. The look on her face when she was putting the clothes on was so precious. Later on she told me she felt pretty in her new clothes. I do teach my girls that true beauty is on the inside and not what you look like or what you wear, but as a girl myself, I feel better when I look good on the outside.
I am definitely missing my 2 big girls today, yes they fought and had to be called down some but they are my babies and they are growing so fast. I want them to always be my babies and enjoy being with me as much as I enjoy being with them. So hug your babies today, they will be grown tomorrow!

Out of the loop

2011-03-21T23:11:00.002-04:00

I took an unexpected computer break over the last week. I finished my papers on Thursday night and didn't open a computer until 10 days later with the exception of checking my grades once. I stayed on Facebook thanks to my glorious iphone but that was it. It was nice to take a break, but I feel as though I missed so much - babies being born by a couple of bloggers I follow, vacation pics, etc! But that's okay, I got my house clean and my laundry done! The girls are on spring break this week and Wade and I took them to the park today. We had a birthday party tonight and brought home a couple of extra girls for a sleepover when it was over. They are still going strong! Classes are back on this week but I only have one this session and I am really grateful for that! Well, I am going to attempt to get these girls ready for bed so I can go to sleep as well. Goodnight!

Trying for inspiration

2011-03-09T20:27:00.002-05:00

So tonight my blog is my guinea pig. I am trying to get over my writer' block for a paper and I almost always have nothing to talk about! I finished a paper yesterday and have another due by Friday (although my self imposed deadline is tomorrow so i can have Friday off and begin my break a little early). Anyway I cannot get anything to come out in this paper. It is a paper on marriage and family counseling which I have done so many times before but this time the only way I could think of starting it was with the line from Princess Bride, "Mawwiage is what bwings us together today"

So that's what I did. I got a little after that but I think I am going to leave it alone tonight and start first thing in the morning. It's so frustrating!! So I recently switched school and am know an online student. I have to say i am really learning a lot but the work load is crazy! I have no time for anything right now. Thankfully the sessions are only 8 weeks long but oh my goodness and I busy. I took 2 classes the first 8 weeks and will be taking only 1 class the next 8. Hopefully I will be able to stay on top of things a little better in the next session.

I feel like my house has been a wreck since January. I have tried to take about one day a week to clean but that doesn't always happen. Oh well, this is season. I feel like I should get that tattooed on me I say it so much!

We had some really nice days the past few weeks but then it got cold again. Why is it I always forget we get a fake spring every year? It just comes out to tease us and when it gets cold again, it's worse because then it's usually rainy and cold. My 2 weather dislikes!

Well, I don't feel inspired yet so I guess the paper will still be there waiting on me tomorrow. I guess I'll watch some TV right now. The only problem is I am really comfy in the recliner and the remotes are on the couch. Ah the problems of a first world nation ;) Have a great evening friends!

Still here

2011-03-05T21:29:00.001-05:00

Yes, I'm still alive just trying to keep up with kids, papers, laundry and everything else at the moment. Be back soon!

The way I see it

2011-02-01T09:18:00.002-05:00

So I imagine God sitting at the family dinner table at night with all the saints that have gone before regaling them with stories of His kids that day. "You will not believe what they did today!" Unlike when earthly parents talk about their kids and say "who did they get that from?" God knows and He doesn't make mistakes; He doesn't lie awake at night crying, " Where did I go wrong?!" But I do believe He shakes His head at us and chuckles sometimes.
I don't believe He is a God ready to strike us down at when we do dumb things, but I do think He lets us go through things to teach us. It's amazing to me how when we go through certain things and we are on the other side we say to ourselves, "Wow, I can't believe I did that!" Then later on another trial comes to make the first one seem like a piece of cake and we would rather be on that trial again!
When Wade was in Iraq the first time and missed the birth of our first child, I thought their could be few things worse. When he left 2 years later again, leaving me with 2 toddlers, giving birth seemed like a breeze! When we lost our son, none of that compared. Looking back over our marriage, we have had difficult times financially. Now that we are both full time students, the little paychecks we received while in the Army look like a fortune to us now!
I've said this before and I will say it again, God has been faithful on this journey. He has provided our needs and many times the wants we have especially to do fun little things with our girls. However, God and I have these talks and I know He loves me to put up with me at times. But these conversations go something like this:
"God, thank you for this unexpected blessing that came in at the last minute, I really am grateful. But you know I would also be grateful if I didn't have to wait until the 11th hour and be stressed about this. If you wanted to say give us what we need for 6 months at a time you could put your time into things like oh I don't know world hunger, our president, etc. I would be okay with that! And at about 5 months 15 days provide again?" This is the time He shakes His head and says, "Oh yeah this is why I make newborns so cute, so I can remember that time and not kill them later on!" Then goes on to tell me again why I need to trust Him daily for my needs and that He is big enough to take care of all of the above mentioned including our financial needs.
And I know I will look back on this time and my faith will have grown leaps and bounds and I will be amazed and strong enough to take on the next thing He has for me. In the meantime I'm sure the family dinner table gets lots of good conversations about me.
Disclaimer: My theology may not sell books but it gets me through the day. You can disagree if you choose and that's fine by me just don't argue with me! ;)

Snow Week 2011

2011-01-14T16:59:00.002-05:00

We woke up Monday morning to 7-8 inches of snow. For our Northern neighbors, this is a joke I know, but for those of us in the south - this is HUGE! Sunday afternoon we got the call that there would be no school Monday. Monday morning I knew there would be no school Tuesday either and in a few hours I was proved correct. Tuesday we found out there would be no church Wednesday night. Wednesday we got the call for no school Thursday and later that day the Superintendant called again to say no school Friday either. And my husband lovingly reminded me that Monday is a holiday so no school until Tuesday!
Wednesday morning, the girls got in a big fight and slammed the bathroom door, which caused two frames to come off the wall and shatter. That was a fun day! I have been trying to come up with creative things to keep them occupied. Mackenzie has enjoyed her time with her sisiters and is learning way too many things from them ... "Mine!" Crossing her arms and saying "Humph!" Thank you Renah! And Renah has come up with a new nickname for Mackenzie - "Evil midgit" Ainsley loves going out in the snow and playing. I usually have to make her come in because it's too cold. They have enjoyed themselves a lot this week and I have enjoyed having them here but am really ready for them to go back to school! I had such big plans to get ao much done over Christmas break but I think I only got about 4 days when the girls weren't here! My classes start Monday so there goes break! Oh well, I have to go look at my work load for classes now. Have a great weekend!

Last post of 2010!

2010-12-31T12:22:00.003-05:00

Wow! This year has been a year! I have to say while it has been a good one I am ready for it to be over as it is one year closer to graduation! I have been feeling frusterated with school and am ready for Wade and I to be done! But that is not what this post is about today.
God has shown his faithfulness this year in many ways. Since 2007, when Wade got out of the Army, we have had a struggle financially. This last semester has been even harder because Wade's GI bill ran out and we had even less to live on. But through it all god has been faithful and provided us with our needs. It is hard to constantly live on faith though!
The girls have grown so much this year! Ainsley is in 2nd grade and learning that not everyone will always like you. Like her momma she has a hard time with that one! Renah started kindergarten and loves it so much. She is excelling in her work and thanks to her dad is the poster child for a strong will! Mackenzie went from an infant this time last year to a walking, babbling toddler. She has the best personality and the ablity to cheer anyone up!
I don't like New Year's resolutions but I do believe this is a good time to make some changes. I am trying to be more organized, better with the house. I'm tired of the clutter! I want to be a better wife and mother, "Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. " James 1:19 I do want to have better time management so we all don't suffer when I can't get things done! I want to get to the gym more and of course be the one on how to be in three places at once, need no sleep and find more hours in the day! Ha Ha! But really I do hope this new year bring about more quality time with the people I love.
I hope 2010 has been good to you and your family and if not, remember what you have learned and move on. It's a fresh start so don't bring your old junk into it! Have a wonderful new Year!!!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-28T22:54:00.004-05:00

I hope you had a great Christmas. We got a huge surprise Christmas morning - SNOW! My husband says we have had a white Christmas before but I don't remember having one ever. I think I was more excited about it than the girls! I would look outside and see the snow falling and smile. I loved it! I didn't get a lot of pictures Chistmas morning as I was helping Mackenzie and enjoying watching the girls. I do have their christmas Eve picture of all of them in their Christmas jammies. Ainsley and Renah have been wanting footie jammies for awhile now. I have been searching for them all over the place and finally found them. The best part is I found them in exactly what they wanted. Ainsley wasnted peace signs and Renah wanted monkeys. I was so glad I found them and to have found exactly what they wanted was God. I love how He wants to give us the desire of our hearts even in the smallest things. So here are some pictures of Christmas Eve and some of Mackenzie in the snow (Wade has the other ones)! Have a great last week of 2010!

Christmas gifts

2010-12-07T13:56:00.004-05:00

During this time of year I think most of us stress over a lot of things. I know my shortlist of things would include: finals, money, Christmas, dirty house, papers... These things weigh on me and make it hard to enjoy the season. The last few months have been difficult financially but I have to give all credit to God and tell you that He has come though on more than one occasion to bless us in one way or another and I am so grateful that we are able to give our girls a nice Christmas and pay our bills. Wade and I do not have jobs right now as we feel this is what God wants for us right now and He has come through everytime we have needed Him.
He has given us not only monitary things but this year I was given a wonderful gift from God. This year I met an amazing couple that have adopted me and my family. This wonderful lady has become a mother to me and a grandmother to my girls. She makes me feel loved and accepted and while I had a close relationship with my dad, he died almost 4 years ago and I miss that fatherly bond and with her husband I have that. I think this is one of the things I am most thankful for this year. This is a desire I have had for so long and supressed it so as not to feel disappointed but God in His goodness gave this to me and I am so glad. So this year if you have someone who loves you unconditionally, be thankful and if you do not don't give up.

Happenings

2010-12-03T10:32:00.003-05:00

Well, with the phone change we have had going on around here I don't have my Thanksgiving pics on my computer but I have some cute shots of the girls from one of the many Christmas parties we had last night. Enjoy!

Just keep swimming...

2010-11-15T13:53:00.002-05:00

Oh the joys of this time of year and getting your Master's. There is so much going on and all I want to do is make crafts and decorate. I have to constantly remind myself that we are doing what God has told us to do, but sometimes Wade and I are both ready to quit! I am just feeling overwhelmed with school deadlines, household chores, church obligations and trying to be a good wife and mom - somedays everything falls and other days I can juggle a few things well. I try to work ahead on so many things but it doesn't happen enough. I need a clone or two to get this all done! Sorry, I had to get that out, now I have to start on another paper. Hope your stress level is manageable!

Veteran's Day

2010-11-11T20:38:00.002-05:00

Today is Veteran's Day and what would have been my dad's 71st birthday. I used to think it was cool he was born on Veteran's Day and was a veteran and told him once, he then said, "It wasn't Veteran's Day when I was born, that happened many years later" I couldn't believe it! My thoughts were that holiday's were created in the beginning of time! Anyway - I am very thankful for those who have served. I have a heritage of military service, my grandfather was in the Navy and fought in WWII, my dad was in the Army and served during the cold war as did my brother, my husband served in the Army and fought during Iraqi Freedom, his dad was in the Army and fought in Vietnam as well as his grandfather in WWII. I was certain I was not going to marry a guy in the military because I didn't want that lifestyle but God had other plans. And I am so glad He did. I loved our 8 years in the Army and cannot wait for Wade to get back in. I love the Army lifestyle and God has given us a burden to serve them. So today I salute my husband and all those who have served. I am thankful for our freedoms that so many have paid such sacrifices for my freedom.

Trick or Treat!

2010-11-01T23:15:00.003-04:00

We had a busy weekend of the pumpkin patch (no pics right now because it wasn't my camera) Gatlinburg and the trunk or treat at church. Today the girls stayed home from school because of viral junk they have had, Mackenzie has an ear infection and I had a migraine all day. So we have taken it easy all day. They have tomorrow off as wekk due to a teacher workday. it hink it is good for them to get the rest though.

Pictures and boredom

2010-09-28T19:10:00.004-04:00

I am in class right now and cannot concentrate so I decided to post a few pictures of my babies! Wow these pictures are all over the place! Let me try and explain them: 1. A sweet girl who goes to the college here in town is an amazing photographer and took this of my girls 2. Renah's first day of school - she was so excited! 3. and 4. both taken by the same girl as the first one - love her work!(and the subjects!) 5. Ainsley's first day - not quite as excited as Renah in fact she cried and she has never done that before. It nearly broke my heart! 6. At church on game day in her TN shirt (no we are not Tn fans but it was what we could find!) &. mackenzie on game day in her cheerleading uniform - her poppa really wanted to get it for her and she was so cute in it!

We are thankfully going out of town for staff retreat this weekend. We didn't get to take a vacation this year so we need some time away! Nana is keeping the girls for 3 days for Wade and I and next weekend we have a chaplain candidate retreat also in Gatlinburg and actually in the same cabin as the one this weekend but we are taking the girls with us then. I am just excited to get away for a few days!

It's almost break time!! I am having a difficult time listening due to the subject matter - it's theology and this overloads my brain. I am not wired for this!

2nd try

2010-09-18T16:42:00.002-04:00

Mackenzie Grace turns 1!

2010-09-18T16:34:00.002-04:00

Today Mackenzie turned one and she celebrated in style! Hopefully the pictures from Face book post! If not I will try later. She has 6 teeth and is walking and is still one of the sweetest babies ever! We are so blessed to have her in our lives.

Whoosh!

2010-08-13T10:39:00.004-04:00

Did you see that? That was July and really the whole summer speeding by! I don't know what happened, I fell asleep and woke up and school was starting again. My Ainsley started 2nd grade and today my Renah had her phase in day for kindergarten! Yes, I cried both days! We had a busy summer, we moved into a different neighborhood and into a house with A/C!!! We were roasting and with the heat climbing lately into the 100's I am so glad we are out of the old house. The day we moved out it was 115 upstairs!
The new house is in a new school district and I think I'm having a harder time adjusting than the girls. I miss the old school and their policies but I know I will adjust. We are really enjoying the new place and while it is roomy it is smaller than the last place but feels very homey. Wade is doing some shuttling for the college and my older girls are as I said in school so it is just Mackenzie and me today. I did a few things is morning but am about to get started on some cleaning, I just wanted to take a few minutes while Mac enjoys her snack to update my blog. Here are some pictures of the first day of school and one of my little Mackenzie. (I wish it would upload the same way I put them in!)

3 girls?

2010-06-23T23:14:00.003-04:00

My son would have been 15 months old by now. Seeing little boys at the age he would be always makes my heart ache. Then looking at my Mackenzie makes me so thankful for her and her life. Being a mom to 3 girls gets a lot of comments just as a mom to all boys or a mom with kids very close in age I'm sure gets. Almost every time we go out someone makes the comment about me having all girls and no boys. I usually smile and nod but not Ainsley and Renah (especially Ainsley). They always tells them "No, I have a brother!" Then they proceed to tell them that he either died or lives in heaven. The person usually looks at me with that look of sorrow and pity, smiles at the girls and walks away.
Ainsley for awhile got upset with me because she felt like I was forgetting him. I didn't tell her that not a day goes by when I don't think of my son and what he would be like or look like. I didn't tell her that my arms will always ache for him or that every family picture will be incomplete. Instead I tried to explain to her that it's hard to tell everyone I meet that I have a son who isn't with us because it makes me sad to. She said she understood and now takes it upon herself to tell anyone who asks and sometimes those who don't.
I feel bad for the people when she tells them because you know it isn't what they expect to hear, but at the same time I am glad she remembers her brother, though she never met him. She loves him and includes him in my count of children and in my mother in law's count of grandchildren.
I wish I did not belong to this club of mothers. I wish I didn't get that feeling of dread when someone tells me they are pregnant for fear that they may become part of this club. I hate that fear. I hope my girls eventually do understand why it isn't my conversation starter, but I also hope they always remember him.

1st day of summer!

2010-06-21T21:32:00.002-04:00

Wow it was hot today! First day of summer and it hit 100 degrees! We hit the pool! When I woke up this morning I contemplated going to the Y to work out then take the girls swiming in the wonderful pool but remembered that Mackenzie has a cough and while the Dr said she is fine and not contagious the child watch people don't believe me and will call me from my work out after the first cough. So instead I knew I had some errands to run, but I told the girls to get their suits on and if they didn't ask me over and over when we were going to the pool, we could go after we did the errands.
They did great and it worked out that Wade could join us! Unfortunately, our sunscreen must be old and did not work so we all got burned, except Mackenzie who was under her shaded flotie most of the time. This is the girls first real burn and I feel so bad! But I did slather them in sunscreen it just didn't work.
Seven years ago today was my due date with Ainsley. I was so miserable and huge and ready for her to be born! She decided to wait 5 more days though. I can't believe it's been 7 years! I look at her and am amazed at the person she is becoming.
Renah finished pre - k and knows all of her letters and can count to 100 with a little help. She is readingf a few words and cannot wait for kindergarden. She defintely keeps me on my toes and we never know what is going to come out of her mouth! She is Wade's daughter for sure!
Mackenzie has 2 teeth now. She is pulling up on everything and trying her best to walk. She is babbling, "Da da", "Uh oh" and "dat" for that. "Ma ma" has been uttered only once or twice but she is a momma's girl! She is so happy and sweet. She has helped in the healing process for all of us.
Father's Day was a good day. The girls and I had a special picture blown up for Wade. It has him with Ainsley on his shoulders, Renah on her shoulders and Mackenzie on her shoulders (with a little help!). This is a picture he has wanted for awhile and when his parents were here for Mackenzie's dedication in March, we had some family pictures made. That was one of them. The girls and I had it blown up and framed. I made a big dinner and we celebrated with another family that we adore. Even though it's been alm ost 3 years since I lost my dad, I thought about him a lot yesterday.
It has been a fun but busy summer so far. Wade has Greek most of the summer so I have been trying to come up with things for the girls and I to do. They had a lemonade stand last week and raked in the cash! They want to do it all the time now!
Well, I'm off to do some reading. I have joined a book club and just got the book tonight so I have a lot of reading to do! Enjoy the heat!

Calendars

2010-05-19T19:34:00.002-04:00

When Wade and I first got married, we were so broke! When I had a few extra dollars one month I found a magnetic calendar for the refridgerator. We have moved something like 9 times since I bought that thing. When I get it up in whichever house we move to, it is home to me. I love that thing! When Wade deployed both times I put a daily countdown on each day and every evening I was able to cross off another day that I had made it through.
One of the things I love is around the last few days of the month I erase the previous month and start filling in for the next month. I love the fresh new month look - very few things scheduled, it's like a new beginning to be better every month! However, the past few months i don't get that clean calendar very long, as soon as I set up for the new month it gets filled with activities and meetings, tests, etc.
I am looking forward to summer with my girls, less schedules and more play! Ainsley and Renah are understanding more of what summer break is and are looking forward to it as well. In a few weeks, however of two little girls arguing and constantly picking up Mackenzie i may be singing a different tune ;) but for right now we are on a countdown to summer!
Mackenzie turned 8 months old yesterday. She is wanting to walk so badly and loves to stand up. She sleeps through the night most of the time. She is such happy baby and her big sisters are so good with her! Though I do have to watch them closely due to the overwhelming urge to carry her around constantly! We are doing well right now just trying to catch up now that classes are over. I am not taking summer classes but Wade is taking Greek I and II. I guess that is about all for now. Hope you are having a nice spring!
Christina

How bad do I stink at this?

2010-04-16T12:34:00.003-04:00

OK really? Almost two months since I've blogged! We have been really busy the last month or 12. Wade set some pictures up on my new computer so I think I can post some today. On March 21st we had Mackenzie's dedication. It was on the weekend our son would have turned 1. it was difficult but we had so many great friends there and Wade's parents and sister came up. Then came Easter and the Easter program at church - that was exhausting! And of course as always, classes, papers, kids, cleaning, cooking.... the list goes on! But we are doing really well. Ainsley and Renah are finishing up their year and are doing so good with Mackenzie who is growing entirely too fast! Here are some pictures:

Still here!

2010-02-24T10:09:00.002-05:00

Wow things have been busy lately! I guess that comes with the territory of three kids and our Master's program. Some god friends of ours had their first baby on Sunday. I was privileged to help do some coaching for her. She had a long, hard labor but did wonderfully and of course made me want to be pregnant again! We do plan on having another one but are waiting a little while.
Wade and I are leading a couples class on Wednesday nights at church. We are doing the Love Dare right now. We feel it is so important to give couples some time together and learn how to be better together.
God has shown Himself so faithful to us. We have some extra money coming in that is not only going to supply us with our needs, but also enable us to do some extra fun things with the girls. I am so excited about it! Well, I need to clean my house and shower as I just did a boot camp workout this morning (it's exhausting!) I hope you have a great day and a blessed week!

Blessings

2010-01-25T10:43:00.002-05:00

Last week was a good week. It didn't start out that way, Sunday afternoon I started feeling bad and by Sunday night I was sick, sick sick! Monday, Wade had an intensive class that began, the girls were off school and I was miserable! I felt so bad because I was really looking forward to the girls being off school for us to do something fun but I didn't move off the couch except to make a bottle and hand the baby to one of them.
The girls children's church is going to Kidsfest in May. At least one parent has to go with them so it is not a cheap trip especially for a family of five living on student loans. We told the girls we would try and save the money for us to go. Ainsley decided to try and raise some money as well by making and selling flowers from little foam cut outs. She has them priced from .60 to 9000! She asks anyone who comes to the house to buy one and is surprised that no one has chosen the 9000 one!
One of the things Ainsley said she also wanted to save money for was a DS. We wanted to get them one for Christmas but we just couldn't afford it. A friend heard her talking about it and later told us she had one she did not play and wanted to know if it was ok to give it to them. It was such a kind gift and the girls love it! Last week I did a lot of cleaning around the house and ended up finding one of our old gameboys as well, so now the girls have one of each and are doing well with sharing them.
Saturday, I got a call from a friend who works with some greek letter clubs. She wanted to know if I had anything that needed to be done around the house. I had been cleaning all week but had not tackled the laundry yet. I had so many clean loads that needed to be folded. She brought 5 girls over here and for about 2 -3 hours folded my laundry. I am still working on getting it put away but that was such an enormous help. I think it was the best gift ever!
The week ended with an amazing dinner and visit from our great friends Steve and Kathy Fisher. We met them in Italy when we lived there. They ran the Hospitality House and have been friends, and mentors since. We haven't seen them since Ainsley was Mackenzie's age. It was such a great time and a great end to a great week. We are so blessed to have such amazing friends and we are so thankful for them. Well, I think my coffee has kicked in so I am going to start working on putting away more laundry! have a great day!

Too bad I am not creative with titles...

2010-01-15T22:21:00.003-05:00

We are 16 days into the new year and wow it has been crazy! Wade and I have had class all week from 8-5 in Human Sexuality. The class was alright but from about Thusday morning on I don't think I heard much. It is hard to listen for that long! Wade unfortunately has another intensive class next week. Regular classes start the week after that.
Last night was our first night home in a week due to having no heat here. It was so stinking cold! Thankfully, we have some amazing friends who let a family of five stay with them for a week! It was so good to be home and to have it warm in the house. But of course today, the temps have warmed up quite a bit. I don't care my heat is still on!
Mackenzie will be 4 months old on Monday. I cannot believe it has been that long! She is starting to wean due to the fact that we had to supplement with formula so early. It is frustrating because I really wanted to breastfeed her longer. I have never had an adequate milk supply though I have tried all I can to increase it. I enjoy that special time with my girls and am not ready to give it up but we are both getting frustrated with it.
I feel like a crazy person when it comes to breastfeeding because half of me says "it's ok, at least she is healthy and getting nourishment from the bottle" the other (crazy) half says " Just keep it up" I know that breastfeeding is best for her and I have tried so hard I'm just tired.
Well, I guess that is enough discussion of my breastfeeding - I can't imagine someone's disappointment when they google something else and get this! I hope you are having a great beginning 2010 nd getting used to writing that!

Christina

2009 in review

2009-12-31T12:28:00.002-05:00

Wow it's been a crazy year. We got pregnant for the fourth time in January, we graduated in August and began seminary, had our Mackenzie Grace in September, and it has been a bit of a blur since then lol. We have made amazing lifelong friends this year. I am so thankful for those we have met. Some on our same path, others not but I know we will continue our friendship. We have some fun plans with the girls this evening so I need to clean my house from traveling so I should get off here now. But thank you to those who have read this year and prayed with us and for us. Have a blessed New Year!!!!

Travel woes

2009-12-30T20:10:00.002-05:00

For the first time this year, we traveled for the holidays. While we had a good time, the drive was looooong! Ainsley and Renah did wonderfully thanks to Santa coming early and bringing portable DVD players. The drive home took two days due to a tire blowing on the trailer we borrowed from Wade's parents in the middle of no where at 930 at night. That was a fun adventure to say the least. But praise God we were all safe and mostly kept our cool ;) We finally got home yesterday and haven't done much today. That's about all for now but I hope you all had a great Christmas!

It's beginning to look a lot like...mud I do live in Cleveland you know!

2009-12-02T08:56:00.003-05:00

Oh the rain, the rain that will not go away. That is not what I'm talking about today but really it rains here all the time! Yesterday was Dec 1, and the Christmas festivities started! Last night was our staff/deacon Christmas party. Tonight is church but first a Christmas luncheon for Chaplain candidates and wives, tomorrow is a party, Friday a party, Saturday we are hosting a cookie and ornament swap - so excited! and Monday is a party. Holy cow that is a lot of Christmas cheer!
I am supposed to be writing a paper right now but felt like blogging first. I am also supposed to be studying for finals next week!
This is Mackenzie's first Christmas and I am so excited. I know that after we lost Mishael, I got pregnant very quickly. In some ways it made it harder, but I felt that with the milestones that we would go through, I needed to be pregnant. Last Christmas was hard but I knew had he not died, I wouldn't have had a baby at Christmas anyway, but this Christmas I would have and praise God I do.
Part of me feels guilty that get pregnant so easily when so many people we know struggle. I praise God that I am able to conceive with such ease. But this year I really want to remember and pray for those who want those babies and for whatever reason can't have them. To see the look in a child's eyes Christmas morning is priceless and I want my friends who have that desire for those babies to experience that look as well.
This post got a little deeper than I planned but that's ok, if you have read this, say a prayer for those who are struggling with infertility. Well, I really have to get to work on my paper. I hope you have great day and take a few minutes out of your busy day to enjoy the season!

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T10:23:00.005-05:00

This is my favorite holiday. It is a time to gather with loved ones without feeling the present pressure! This year we are going to a friends house this afternoon to visit then to another friends house for dinner. I am a little sad not to be hosting at our house because I love hosting! I am thankful this year for many things. I am thankful for my Savior who takes care of me and loves me, I am thankful for my husband. He is such a great guy and loves me more than I deserve! I am thankful for my girls. They are all so special and sweet. I am so thankful to be a mom! I am thankful that this year when I left the hospital I was able to hold that sweet bundle in my arms not just in my heart. I am thankful for the house we live in and the car we drive. I am thankful Wade and I were able to graduate this year and begin our master's. The list goes on but I want to say thank you as well to our great friends who love us, pray for us and support us.

I'm still here

2009-11-04T16:23:00.003-05:00

Things have been pretty busy around here lately. I have about 3 weeks left in this semester so I'm having to get a lot done for that. We went to the pumpkin patch a couple of weeks ago and for the first year since we have been going, it was actually fall! We went last weekend to Gatlinburg for a staff retreat with church. Wade's sister came last Friday so she kept Ainsley and Renah Friday night so we could go. We were going to come home to take the girls trick or treating Saturday but decided to have her bring the girls up and go trick or treating in Gatlinburg. We had such a good time and decided to make it an annual trip. Mackenzie is growing way too fast. If I had my way, she would be a newborn for a year. I have been overwhelmed lately with trying to be superwoman. Wade tells me all the time I am doing a great job, but I do wish I had a few more hours in a day to get more done. I am trying so hard but am so tired. This is the first time I have sat down to read my blogs much less write one. I am trying to give cut myself some slack but I know I will always try to do mor than I can. I hope you are having a great week and try to cut yourself some slack too!

One year

2009-10-15T14:56:00.002-04:00

Today is another one of those milestones I have dreaded. This is the one year anniversary of us finding out Mishael, our son, died. It is bitter sweet as I look at my beautiful daughter, knowing she would not exist had this day last year not happened.
Today also marks the National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss. So when I am grieving for my son, I know there are so many other mothers that are experiencing my pain. If you think about it, take a few minutes to pray for those of us grieving and remembering and to praise God for the babies who are safe and healthy.

Can't expect much on little sleep!

2009-10-08T22:32:00.002-04:00

I haven't meant to ignore my blog but I have been a bit busy and sleep deprived. Mackenzie is such an easy going baby. The girls are so in love with her. We had her first doctor's appt on Monday. She is not back up to birth weight yet and according to their scale she has lost weight since leaving the hospital, so I may have to start supplementing with formula soon. I take her for another weigh in Monday and if she hasn't put the weight back on I have to. I have never been able to fully breast feed and I am trying so hard but I'm afraid I still don't have enough milk.
She has been to my classes with me and is so good, most people forget she is there. She doesn't however like to sleep in her bassinet. She is fine in our arms, the bouncy seat, or the boppy but the bassinet is flat and doesn't hold her close so she hates it! Well that is it for tonight she has a gassy tummy so I need to help her. Have a good evening!

Mackenzie Grace

2009-09-20T19:07:00.002-04:00

I got home a few hours ago. Wade and Ainsley are at the store, Renah and Mackenzie are sleeping so I thought I would post some pictures. She is an amazing baby and I am so thankful for her and her sisters! This was a much different hospital stay than the last time. So much joy compared to so much pain and yet without the pain of losing Mishael, there would not be the joy of my Grace. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

She's here!

2009-09-18T23:38:00.001-04:00

I was awakened at 5am this morning to my water breaking. Mackenzie Grace greeted us at 5:17pm this evening. Almost 2 weeks early weighing in at 8 lbs 3 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. She is absolutely beautiful. Pictures are up on facebook, and I will get some up here soon. I'm going to try and get some sleep now. Have a great day!

Oops i keep forgetting to post!

2009-09-08T08:52:00.002-04:00

I read my blog list daily but can't remember to write my own. Maybe because things are not very interesting right now. I have had 2 weeks worth of classes so far. It's going alright but sitting in a class for almost 3 hours at a time is brutal! I only have Thursday classes so I am going all day. 8 am to 9:30 pm with a break from 4:45 - 6:15. I am 37 weeks pregnant now but have basically been pregnant since July 2008 so I am ready to hold this little girl. I am getting really uncomfortable and huge.
Right now I am watching Regis and Kelly, and I can't get over how quiet it is in the house. The girls are in school and Wade is in class. Tuesdays are nice but it is hard to get used to and just as soon as I do, I will have a little one to take care of! I am really wanting to go shopping but we can't right now.
I am not trying to be ungrateful because God has been good to us and is suppling our needs. But we don't get our student loans in until the end of the month so we are just being very careful. But there are just times when I want to go shopping. Sometimes it is fun just going to look, but right now I just want to go buy something! Walking around is painful so I don't want to go walk around to not buy anything!
Sorry, I'm not trying to complain, and I know we have to make sacrifices right now while we are in school. It will seem worth it one day. I am enjoying all the time I get to spend with Wade and that couldn't happen if we had jobs that paid us! I hope you had a great Labor Day weekend a great rest of the week. Thanks for listening to my whining today!

Things going on

2009-08-26T16:55:00.002-04:00

So it had been a little while since my last post, things have been busy. Wade and I are starting our Master's, and due to that last week had orientation/retreat about 20 minutes from here. It was a 3 day thing that was mandatory. The scheduling for the girls was a huge nightmare! We had three student we know who were able to work it out for us. The retreat was good in the fact that we meet some great people who will be on this journey with us. The sessions we sat through were long and sometimes mind numbing! But the friend we have made was worth it. We have already all had a dinner together and a few lunches.
Wade's classes started yesterday, mine are tomorrow. I was able to get all my classes on Thursdays and while it makes for a very long day (8 am - 9:30 pm) I felt it would be easier to get back into things after the baby if i only had one day of classes. Wade has 3 out of 4 of my classes with me just in case I need a little extra time.
I am nervous but excited. All of my classes are 2 hours and 45min long so that is a little daunting! The professors we met on the retreat were so very supportive though, they like most people were a little surprised that I am taking classes this semester but I feel this is God's plan and I know He will give me the strength I need. But if you think about it, say a prayer for us as we embark on the journey as we will definitely need it!

First day a few days ago

2009-08-14T09:54:00.002-04:00

So this post is a little late, the girls had their first day on Wednesday - oops! Ainsley started first grade and Renah started pre K. Unfortunately for her, she has a phase in day on Wednesday and will have another one Monday then will begin daily on Tuesday. She has had a hard time with going one day and not the others yet, but I'm sure will miss these days soon!

Grr

2009-08-12T09:28:00.002-04:00

Something is wrong with blogger! It has lost all of the blogs I follow. I tried to put them back on today, and when I came back to that page after adding about 15 back on, they had disappeared again! I posted a question for help so hopefully it can be fixed - has anyone else had this problem?

God's plan

2009-08-11T19:09:00.001-04:00

A friend of mine posted this on facebook. It really spoke to me so I decided to post it here:

God's Plan

Some things are beyond planning.

And life doesn't always turn out as planned.

You don't plan for a broken heart.

You don't plan for a failed business venture.

You don't plan for an adulterous husband

or a wife who wants you out of her life.

You don't plan for an autistic child.

You don't plan for spinsterhood.

You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever.

You plan to climb the corporate ladder.

You plan to be rich and powerful.

You plan to be acclaimed and successful.

You plan to conquer the universe.

You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.

You don't plan to be hurt.

You don't plan to be broke.

You don't plan to be betrayed.

You don't plan to be alone in this world.

You plan to be happy. You don't plan to be shattered.

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want.

But MOST times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens.

Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours.

Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishes us to carry, but we can carry that cross with courage knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.

Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.

Sometimes, God allows pain so we can be stronger.

Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.

Sometimes, God allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves. Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans, but understand that we live by God's grace

randomness

2009-08-06T11:08:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was my birthday - 31 - wow. My girls (who love watching and repeating commercials) bought me a snuggie. Something they have been wanting to get their cold natured (though not so much right now) mommy for awhile now. We were in Bed Bath and Beyond because Wade wanted me to pick out the gift he had in mind for me - a grill, griddle machine -(this one) can't wait to use it! Anyway, Wade took the girls off to find a present. Renah came back and whispered to me " I can't tell you because it's a surprise but you can hold the baby and still be cozy warm!"She was so excited about their gift. Now they both want one so I am considering making one for them since these are so long.
I had a dr appt yesterday. I'm 32 weeks now. It's really funny because they all try to eplain why she is so big, but all end up saying "I guess she is just a big baby!" They gave me an ultrasound to get a weight of her. Average babies are about 4lbs right now. She weighed in at 5lbs 4oz! Next appt will be with my regular dr again and we will probably start discussing inducement dates - holy cow!
I don't know about your house but my cleaning fairies that are supposed to clean while I sleep at night must be on strike. In fact, I think they are adding to the mess while I sleep. I look in my sink and am amazed at the mess. it is driving me crazy! I hope those fairies come back to work soon!
The next few weeks are going to be crazy. The girls start school next Wednesday, The next week, Wade and I have o go on a mandatory orientation/retreat for seminary for 3 days (scheduling nightmare with the girls!) Then Wade and I start seminary then Mackenzie makes her arrival. It makes me tired just thinking about it! Well, I have laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning and errands to run. Have a great day!
Christina

We (finally) did it!

2009-08-03T10:31:00.005-04:00

This past weekend, Wade and I completed something we have been waiting a long time to do. We graduated college! When we met, Wade had dropped out because he didn't know where he was going. I stayed in until we got married and decided to take a semester off that turned into many years! My brother was so disappointed in the fact we did not graduate and I know this weekend he was looking down from heaven saying "it's about time!" and I know he would have been very proud of us. Wade's family came and threw us a big party Saturday night.It was a lot of fun. Wade was chosen by the school to carry the banner. When it was his turn to go across the stage, I was so excited for him. My heart was about to beat out of my chest. I was fine when it was my turn! I hope your weekend was adventure filled and fun!

Just two?

2009-07-22T10:34:00.002-04:00

So my babies are in Florida with my in laws until next week when they come back up for graduation (mine and hubby's - woo hoo!) I miss them! Wade and I went to lunch yesterday and the hostess said that phrase when she was seating us, "just two?" It made me sad, I love being with Wade by ourselves and look forward to our date nights but I just felt like she stabbed me with those two little words.
I know they are having fun but I miss them! Wade has morning classes during the week so i am all alone and it's weird! I told Wade this morning that I have not been by myself this much since he went to Iraq the first time in 2003 when I was pregnant with Ainsley. He left in March, she was born in June, so most days i was alone. It's just weird to realize that I don't do much alone. Yes, sometimes I go to the store but it is a different feeling knowing you are getting away for a couple of hours verses this. I'm sorry if I am not making any sense, I am rambling. Well, I should go do some laundry. have a good day!

Here comes the tooth fairy!

2009-07-19T19:06:00.003-04:00

This morning Wade went to church with the girls by himself. I didn't sleep well so I stayed in bed. He came to get me after church for lunch with friends. On the way there, Ainsley was telling me that her granola bar for breakfast was hard and hurt her tooth. When we got to the restaurant, she asked me to look at it. When she opened he mouth i noticed her tooth was sightly crooked so I told her I was going to touch it. It was really loose! She was excited and scared at the same time. We had to wait on a table for awhile because there were quite a few of us. She aasked me to look at it again and it was already pulled away from the back of her gums. I took her to the bathroom and after a few tears, she pulled it herself!
It doesn't seem like it's time for these things yet. She is my baby, but she is growing up too fast!

16 and pregnant

2009-07-17T11:04:00.002-04:00

Last night I was laying in bed and found this show on MTV "16 and pregnant" I was curious so I decided to watch. I saw 1/2 of one that was what you would expect, a 16 year girl and her boyfriend not knowing how hard life can be anyway much less as teenage parents without an education or decent job. The next one was surprising. It was a couple of kids who didn't have the best home life. Each of their parents were divorced and ended up marring each other. The kids knew their home life was not good and without finishing their education they would be in the same place as their parents. So they decided on adoption.
Both of their parents were against the idea, not once saying they wanted to help them but saying they should love the baby enough to keep her. The boys dad even told him to "man up" and be a father. The kids were so mature in all of it saying how much they do love her and because of that didn't want her to live in that mess or come from a broken home. The boy said she does need love but she needs more than love because love won't buy diapers or clothes. You could tell they did struggle with the decision to give her up but knew it was best for her.
The worst thing the girls mom did was refuse to sign th paperwork for the adoption. ( I guess because they were minors, they needed parental consent in order to give the baby up on the hospital property) So the babies mom, had to leave the hospital with the baby knowing she was giving her up. It was so hard on her because she had geared herself up for leaving the hospital empty handed. They had to leave the property to give the baby up.
I was so proud of those kids as they knew what was best for their daughter no matter how hard it was for them they couldn't be selfish about it. They were talking with some friends at one point and was asked if they had just considered getting married and raising her. They said we are too young and would end up divorced and that is no life for her. Yes, they were too young to have a baby, but they knew that and it took so much strength to do what they did. I hope they do finish high school and college.
I was just so touched by that particular show and in a way felt their pain. it showed them in the hospital holding her and kissing their child goodbye. I know that feeling - though we had different circumstances, we each laid in a hospital bed holding our baby and said goodbye. If you think of them today, say a prayer for this young couple who made such an amazing choice despite the opposition they faced. Pray for their peace and their future, and for those other young parents who choose to keep their baby despite the opposition they may face.

Long week!

2009-07-13T10:31:00.002-04:00

Well, I had a July 4th blog in my head ready to go and was going to blog about it but last Tuesday night, Wade and I were online and he said "Are you still online?" Long story only a little shorter, our lovely provider has yet to figure out autopay no matter how many times we call to set it up and go ahead and pay the bill since it still was not set up. According to them, we had not paid at all so they shut it off completely. They were unable to over ride the computer and said we would not have service until Friday. On Friday, still no service and after 3 hours on the phone and no help my hubby decided to wait until the next day. Everyone he talked to had no idea why it was shut off and were as confused as we were. Finally, Sunday morning we had internet again. Oh we are not happy customers but at least we have internet again and I don't feel so disconnected! I hope you had a great week!

sisters

2009-07-02T12:41:00.002-04:00

So I think I mentioned it last time but for Ainsley's birthday she got her own room. Therefore, Renah too got her own room sort of. She was really upset that Ainsley was leaving her. We were going to use the 4th bedroom as a nursery/guest room. We decided to ask Renah if she wanted Mackenzie in her room. She was thrilled! She is so excited to be sharing her room with the baby (even though right now it is just her crib and we have told her that after she is born it will still take awhile)
The amazing thing to Wade and I is that there has been much less fighting since then and they play together so much better! It has been really nice. Even bedtime is easier! I am so thankful for the room to give them their own space! Yesterday we were at the pool and the whole time they carried each other around and played happily together . It made this mommy's heart so happy! I do have a sister but she is nine years older than me and we have never been that close. I love that I have my little girls ( and another one on the way) to have that sister bond that i always wanted. I pray they are close for life as there is something very special about sisters.

Ainsley's birthday

2009-06-26T18:47:00.003-04:00

Well, today my baby turned 6. I cannot believe she has been in my life for 6 years! She is an amazing child. The sweetest big sister one could ever hope for. She has had a big year, kindergarten, learning to read, cheering, learning to ride a scooter and bike, and so many other milestones that this year has brought. I have seen he deal with the loss of her brother and the excitement of a new sister.
Today, her big birthday present was her own room. She has wanted this for awhile now and I hope she enjoys it. I look forward to what this next year will bring this beautiful little girl. It is a joy to be her mom.

busy week if i ccan get up!

2009-06-16T08:54:00.002-04:00

VBS is going on this week. And no, I am not one of those amazing moms that volunteer to teach a class. We do not attend the church that puts this one on but we used to and I could help out if I felt the desire (which I have no had that feeling yet!) So I have the mornings to myself - woo hoo! Yesterday, I got home and sat down to a nice cup of coffee and Wade called and asked me to go get something for him. When I got done I no longer had the motivation to go home and unpack. Yes, we have lived here over a month and I was mostly done but we finally got our thing out of storage! So I am looking around my downstairs and seeing all these boxes feeling a little overwhelmed with all that I need to get done. We walked to the church because it is just downtown and there is no need (except for the AC!) to drive. Now I am just trying to cool off before getting to business. I hope to have a productive day!

baby update

2009-06-10T15:33:00.003-04:00

My (big) little girl is growing well. I have yet to gain a pound - woo hoo! She checked me today because I told her about some pains i have been having. She said she is high like she should be but my cervix is very soft so I have to be careful and not overdo anything. I do have a question though, I have never produced much breast milk. I do believe in breastfeeding and have done the best that I can but have had to supplement with my girls. I breastfed on demand and pumped in between to try and get my supply up to no avail. The one medicine the doctors have put me on in the past is now linked with severe liver damage ( nice, i know!) I have tried a natural supplement that makes you smell like maple syrup when you get enough in your system and I will use that again if I need to but I was wondering if anyone out there has had this problem and what they have one about it.

The next best thing

2009-06-06T17:03:00.002-04:00

So I don't have central air in my new house and I'm six months pregnant and it's June. But what do I have? A 4 year old who loves to help and will go steal the fan from her daddy's office, plug it in and put it 5 ft in front of me! Ahhh much better! Now if I could just get her to feed me grapes!

camping

2009-06-01T22:46:00.003-04:00

I realized I had not posted about our camping trip last weekend. It was fun, and coming from someone who is not a camper that is saying alot! There were about 35 people from church that went. We had community breakfast and dinner and lunch was however we wanted. We took the girls scooters but they didn't use them much, they borrowed bikes from other kids and rode and played from the time they woke up until it was dark. The girls had so much fun. It did rain on Sunday but not just a little rain - it poured! We were about to have dinner when the sky just opened up! I was in my tent and the girls and some of their friends were in theirs. I don't know where Wade ended up but we made it through. And probably the best part for me was that Wade decided we should get a pop up camper! I told him I wouldn't mind camping more often if I didn't have to sleep in a tent, so we are looking for an inexpensive, used one - woo hoo! I am oing to try and upload some pics of the trip now - we will see!

In which my children become the family pets.

2009-05-30T22:09:00.002-04:00

I do not know what is wrong with my children tonight. We got home and they were upstairs playing, Ainsley came downstairs and said Renah peed in her bed. Renah said it was because Ainsley told her to. Then a few minutes later Ainsley came downstairs to get some plastic bags to clean up poo. I yelled for Miley to get in the crate thinking she had gone upstairs. Nope, Ainsley told Renah to poo in the floor and they thought it was funny. Yes, they did get in trouble and sent to bed. I am frustrated as Ainsley is almost 6 and acting like this. This is the only bathroom incident, but not the only thing they have done lately that have made me question what is going on with them. I know they are still young but really they are smart kids and acting like crazy ones! Is it a kid thing, or a jealous thing because of the baby? I have no idea but this cannot keep going like this or I might pull my hair out before school starts again!

New phone

2009-05-21T18:32:00.002-04:00

Last Friday, while running errands,I was stopped on a hill, talking on the phone to my husband trying to find a radio stations to drop off the CD I had in my car for him. The CD fell off the seat hitting the plastic thing of cupcakes I was taking to Ainsley's school to celebrate her birthday early with her friends and popped it open. At the same time, i got a text and when I went to hang up the phone and fix the cupcakes, my phone fell into the cup of sprite i had in my cup holder. And did I mention who the text was from? The bride who was getting married on Saturday, whom i was planning and coordinating the wedding for! I tried drying it out in a bag of rice but no luck so i have been out of a phone for almost a week! i went in today to get one but before I could get it, my husband came in to join me for lunch. We ate next door with a friend of his who talked Wade into talking me into an iphone. Oh my goodness, it is awesome! I just love it! Well, we are heading to Walmart to get some camping supplies because we are going camping with a group from church this weekend. i hope you have a great Memorial Day!

Titleless

2009-05-19T09:56:00.002-04:00

Classes are out and i am waiting on August for graduation. In the meantime I am a stay at home mom again. i have missed it and i love it. i did however forget about all the housework and in the new house with an upstairs, downstairs and laundry in the basement it is alot od house! I'm not complaining mind you, I love this house. I have just never had so much house to clean. There is so much room it doesn't look cluttered! However, with all this room, the kids and dog still get right under my feet! and I still trip over my hubby's shoes! Some things never change! I hope you had a great weekend and great week to coe. I really have to get some things done today!!!

Drum Roll please....

2009-05-13T17:33:00.002-04:00

And the verdict is.... more pink! We are having a little girl! Well, maybe not so little she is in the 96% for height and weight. The doctor says prepare for at least a nine pound baby! Holy cow!!!!

pink or bliue??

2009-05-13T11:04:00.001-04:00

I have an appointment in a couple of hours and should find out what we are having! I am so excited!

I feel so out of it

2009-05-06T17:03:00.002-04:00

We are moved in, and got out internet back today! I finished my finals and am so exhausted! I feel so behind on everything! But now maybe I can get our new place in order and get some rest! Hope all is well with you! Be back with more later.

God is good

2009-04-17T19:48:00.002-04:00

This has been a crazy week. I am still sick (I think I have a sinus infection), we got to see the baby again this week and things are looking well, and probably the craziest thing, we found a new place to rent. It is over 100 years old and huge! It has 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, full basement, and full attic. I called and the whole time I am thinking "we so cannot afford this" The guy asked me how much we could afford, I gave him a number and he thought for a moment and said, " I am willing to work with that" I was amazed! We looked at it that night by flashlight since the power was out and really liked what we saw and went home to pray about it. We asked to see it the next day in the daylight and absolutely fell in love with it. Wade and I talked about it and found out we had both been praying separately about a house for us. I had been driving down the historic area close to where we live and was talking to God and said, " I know we can't afford a house around here but I really like Ainsley's school and would like Renah to attend there as well. I know that You are capable of giving us an amazing deal on a big house for us. I know you will supply our needs and care about our wants. " I had prayed that a few times and God really came through. We are even closer to our school (funny since we live less than 1/2 mile now!) and still in Ainsley's district and so much room. It is a little more than we are paying now but we just paid off our car and with the larger house, we do not need a storage unit any more! I am reaaly excited but stressed a little as we are moving in about a week and a half and finals are coming. But I know that God supplied this amazing house for us and I know he knows what is going on in our lives right now. He will help us in our time management and give us extra energy for this. I took some pictures but they were not too good but will post some soon. Have a great weekend and if you happen to be in my area and have the strong urge to clean and/or paint give me a call - lol!

one down, about 100 more to go!

2009-04-07T22:15:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, Wade and I had our first step in becoming a minister's family. Wade had his board for licensing in the Church of God. We both went to the interview, we were in front of the campus pastor, and 3 very influential and very well educated Ph D's from the school. The began firing questions at Wade. I had a few but his were insane. I was so nervous for him. He did amazing! he answered those questions with poise and honesty. I could not have been more proud of him. After the questions, we were asked to step out while they talked. They asked us back in and told us they felt that we should go into ministry. It was a great feeling and I could not stop telling Wade that he did so good. So we are one step closer and that feels so good!

Dear Global Warming Scientists:

2009-04-03T16:32:00.003-04:00

While I realize your research has been extensive, I think you may have overlooked a very real possibility. The polar icecaps may not be melting, they might be relocating to say the south. Because in case you haven't noticed it is supposed to be spring and it is really cold! So I am not saying that you are wrong I just think you may have overlooked somethings.
Sincerely,
A frozen mom from the south

I have a confession...

2009-04-01T14:41:00.001-04:00

This is a tough one but here goes. I am not a fan of American Idol. Whew! Glad I got that off my chest. I think this may make me a bad blogger because as I went to check the blogs I follow today, there are about 6 -7 AI updates. That is alot! Personally, I watch Biggest Loser. I love that show maybe because I should go on it but will not show all of America or even one person what I look like in a sports bra. And I cry when people yell at me! I know I would get Jillian! But I want to know am I the only one who just does not get the appeal?

I have my camera back!

2009-03-31T11:37:00.002-04:00

I have been camera- less for awhile now. I lost my charger I don't even know when. So last week, my hubby went on ebay and bought me a new one (is there anything you can't find on ebay?) So I took a few pictures at Chuck E.Cheese this weekend but not many because I was holding my purse, coat, tokens and tickets! But at one point, Ainsley did that picture thing that takes your picture then "draws" it. She brought it to me and I couldn't believe how big she looked. It is not a good picture because it is a picture of a picture without the flash but you can get the idea.

I made it

2009-03-28T20:27:00.002-04:00

Monday was very hard but I made it. I took my test online but did not go to the rest of my classes. I just didn't feel like it. We took the girls to a park in the early evening and had ice cream for dinner. The rest of the week went alright, Tuesday, a friend wanted to take me to a small town that has some really good bargain stores. We had a good time.
Today, we had a birthday party at Chuck E.Cheese. The girls had so much fun. They haven't been in a long time because it is in Chattanooga. It was funny because the last time we went, Renah had just turned 2 and Ainsley was 3, we had to follow them and help them with everything. This time, they would get tokens from us and go off to play. We did help get them some tickets though because of course you can't leave without some kind of junk!
We got home and all took a nap. I woke up starving and made tacos for dinner yum! I haven't been cooking much lately. We have been so busy and exhausted and the next few weeks will be even busier with our Easter program coming up and I am planning a wedding for someone in the next 6 weeks. This post seems really disjointed but I am trying to get the girls in their bath and thinking about studying for another German test I have on Monday. So i am going to go and bathe my munchkins, i hope you are having a great weekend.

Tomorrow

2009-03-22T20:24:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is the day I have been dreading for nearly 6 months. It would have been my due date. The whole month has been difficult. I have known of several women who were due around the same time as I was and have all had their baby. It is just so hard.
It is not that I am not grateful for the child I am carrying for I know that this child would not be in exsistance had I not lost Mishael. But no one should have to choose one child's life over another and no matter how many children I have, I will always miss him and know one of my children are missing.
I would love to go to bed tonight and not get out of bed until tomorrow is over but unfortunately there are tests and so many things going on I can't do that. I am so sad tonight and miss him terribly.

I'm back

2009-03-15T15:27:00.002-04:00

I didn't mean to be away so long but we were on vacation this week. It was wonderful! We went to Gatlinburg with some friends and stayed in a cabin. It was so nice to get away (and the hot tub was a nice extra!) When our friend sends pictures i will put them on - I have got to get a new camera or get a new charger! We played miniature golf in 40 degree weather, went to Wonderworks and did the dinner show and did a little outlet shopping. It was very restful and what we needed. I hope you are doing well and i will update more later. Have a good Sunday afternoon!

Renah to the rescue!

2009-03-05T10:42:00.002-05:00

The other day, we were going to lunch and we saw a homeless man by the side of the road. Renah asked what he was doing so I told her he did not have a home and he was asking for help. We decided to get him a meal as well. Unfortunately, he was gone when we went back out. Renah was so upset by this and by the fact he didn't have a bed or stuffed animals.
Later on, she was telling Ainsley about what she had seen that day (Ainsley was in school at the time) Renah decided that the next time we see him we should get him and bring him to our house. I told her that was sweet but we don't have an extra bed or room for him. She was quiet for a while (she amazes me at her attention span and how long she will think about something) About 30 minutes later she announced, " I have a great idea! We will get a bigger house and another bed right by me and I will share my pillows and blankets and he can live with us!"
She was so proud of her idea. As was I. I love that she is so generous and is trying to save the world!

It's whats on the inside

2009-03-05T10:19:00.002-05:00

Earlier this week, Ainsley had her spring pictures taken. We had picked out a cute little dress for her to wear the night before. When she woke up in the morning she decided she did not want to wear that she wanted to wear jeans instead. Since it was her picture I decided to let her wear what she wanted. A few minutes later she changed her mind again and at this point we didn't have time for her to change. Plus, we are working on consequences based on your decisions. Good or bad, we want her to understand she can't always change her mind once she realizes the consequence of her decision. We are teaching her she can fix it but not change it.
She realized in her picture she would be wearing jeans and wanted to look cute. Something else we are working on is teaching the girls that true beauty comes from the heart, and no matter what she wears, if her heart is not pretty, she won't be pretty on the outside. So we talked about how some people don't have nice clothes but are beautiful because of their heart and someone who may have the best clothes may not very nice looking if their heart is not good. I felt pretty good about this talk as I was being patient with her and trying to explain this. We were in the car at this point and she is still upset so in a very whiny voice she says, "But mommy, they aren't going to take a picture of my heart!"
It took me a few minutes to recover form that one so she wouldn't see me snicker. We then prayed and walked into school. Out of the mouth of babes! This mothering stuff is tough! My next post will be about Renah trying to save the world!

sick, sick, sick

2009-02-27T19:20:00.003-05:00

Yuck we are all sick! I have been sick with a stomach bug since Tuesday, Wade has some kind of junk, Ainsley was sent home from school today with a fever, and Renah has some nose issues. I just want to be over this! I made it to one class today, but that is when Ainsley's school called. So we came home and went to bed! We have layed around all afternoon. So excuse me while I whine but, " WE DON"T FEEL WELL! WAH!!!!" I hope you have a good weekend!

Waiting for spring...

2009-02-25T12:29:00.001-05:00

I found this on facebook from a friend of mine and it seemed to be what I needed. I am so tired of winter physically and emotionally. I am more than ready for spring...
"Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life." - Immanuel Kant

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.

Moral:

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

Don't judge life by one difficult season.

A few words

2009-02-19T13:21:00.001-05:00

I am so sorry i have not been good with updating lately. Things have been busy and i am very forgetful right now! I have even forgotten a few class assignments this week! I will come back soon though! I hope are having a great week!

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T14:13:00.002-05:00

Wade and I went out last night. We went to dinner and to Walmart to get the girls some Valentine's things. We were walking through the store at about 9:30 and Wade said, " I know it's early but I'm so tired! Want to go home?" I was ready for bed about the time we left the house so I was ready to go! We got the girls a few things that we gave them this morning and Wade is at church right now helping with the last minute details of the new building that we have our fist service in tomorrow! The girls have been so cute today telling me "Happy Bawemtimes Day!"
I am trying to study my German but keep getting distracted and I am so tired I might just have to rest my eyes a bit! Have a good Bawemtimes Day!

The call no parent wants...

2009-02-10T12:40:00.002-05:00

I went to my ceramics class early yesterday to work on some things I missed last week since I was sick. Class had not even started yet when my phone rang. It was Ainsley's school, she had fallen off the monkey bars and her head was bleeding. As we were on the phone, they decided to call an ambulance. My heart dropped. I called Wade at his meeting and he was picking me up in no time though I was already walking. The secretary rode with her to the hospital b/c traffic was so bad we couldn't get there fast enough. I nearly took out a few hospital employees b/c they said have a seat and when she gets checked out we will come get you. I walked out or as my husband said i tried to superwoman my way through the door b/c they wouldn't open and went to the ambulance entrance and waited there. She was terrified by all the things they had on her. She had 6 stitches and can't go back to school actually until Tuesday b/c they have Thurs - Mon off. she seems fine today but she gave mommy a scare!

So tired - hard to type

2009-02-09T13:48:00.002-05:00

I haven't been around much lately b/c I have been in bed whenever i get a chance. SOOOO tired! Nausea has also set in but I'm ok with that. It's the extreme exhaustion that keeps me from here and cleaning. I am selling Pampered Chef now so if you want a party - even a catalog party - let me know and hopefully I won't fall asleep during the party! Have a good day! I want to sleep!

This week

2009-02-04T22:12:00.002-05:00

Well, I would love to post a picture of the ultrasound we had yesterday, but I cannot find the charger for my camera. We were able to see the heartbeat and that did my heart good. I am taking a baby aspirin a day as a precaution. Even though nothing came up in the reports from my son or myself the doctor feels it is a good idea. I have strep and bronchitis right now so I am on lots of antibiotics. I took a really long nap this afternoon and that was nice! I don't have a class tomorrow so i have to clean my nasty house! I hope you are having a good week!

A person is a person....

2009-01-31T23:13:00.002-05:00

Tonight we watched "Horton hears a Who". It was so good. If you have not seen it or read the book you really should! It is such an amazing Pro life story. The book was written in 1954, 19 years before Roe vs. Wade. In the end, when the Who's are yelling "we are here!" to try to get the other's to hear them. I of course was crying b/c I could just see a little baby inside the womb yelling to his mom who is contemplating ending his life, screaming out, " I am here!" It was a beautiful story and after all a person is a person no matter how small.

I'm back

2009-01-31T23:01:00.002-05:00

I have been away this week, mostly not by choice. Our internet went out for no apparent reason and Friday was not a good day. I came back from class and discovered I was bleeding. I panicked. I called my doctor and they had me come in immediately. They did an ultrasound and saw the sac and did not see bleeding behind it so they said things looked normal. I was told it was implantation bleeding. They did not see a heartbeat yet since i am right at 5 weeks. I rested the afternoon as I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Hopefully next week I should be able to see the heartbeat and will feel better.

New Beginnings

2009-01-26T13:28:00.002-05:00

Last night, Wade threatened that if I didn't blog soon he would... So here goes... I'm pregnant! We weren't certain if we were going to tell people right away. But church yeterday was about laying down your burdens. We decided that God was going to keep me and this baby safe and we are going to take a step of faith and tell people. And, if something does happen, it wouldn't make it any easier if no one knew. I am due the beginning of October, which if you have read this blog, is the time when Mishael died. We did not know for 2 weeks. God wants to restore October to us, and it will still hurt on October 15th and 16th but October is not going to have to just be a month we will dread every year, it is going to be a celebration of new life. I know most of you who read this are Christians, so if you would, please pray for the safety of this baby and for mine and my families peace. Thank you!

Emotions abound

2009-01-20T13:01:00.002-05:00

I have been so emotional lately. If you know me at all I am an emotional person anyway, but lately I could all cry so many times. I hold it in as it happens at very inappropriate times. I found myself getting so emotional while watching the inauguration this morning. I saw all those people there so wanting a man to end all of their troubles. It is something we all have done, put too much faith and trust in a human. And as humans, we all fail, we cannot be all things to all people. I am not saying this has never happened with a new president, it just feels that so many people have feel that the new president is our Saviour. I am that praying for him, that he does seek the one true God for answers to run this country. Wow, that is not where I meant to go but I really found myself so emotional this morning!
Anyway, there have been other times that my emotions have tried to take over and most of the time it is for no real reason! I was making lunch and for no reason I felt like crying. Maybe I should just take some time and cry and get it all out so I don't want to cry over deli meat! Even right now thinking about it, my eyes are welling up!

My girls found a stray...

2009-01-18T16:51:00.002-05:00

...ladybug! Last night we found a ladybug in the house and the girls were fascinated! They played with it and I was finally able to convince them he/she/whatever belonged outside. This morning I wake up to Ainsley with a flashlight shining in Renah's hand saying, "mommy, the ladybug was still outside waiting for us, she must really want to live here!" We did talk about going outside when mommy and daddy are sleeping then Renah went on and on about wanting a pet. I told her we had Miley (our dog) and she said, "that is only one pet!" Then I reminded her about the fish and we counted all the fish, "that is only 6 pets mommy, we need a ladybug too!" All the while the ladybug is "sleeping". They took turns watching it while the other did something. Finally after quite awhile, they took it back outside and made promises to the ladybug to always remember it and not to catch it again so it could be free. I think the wind finally took it away. Unless, they hid it in their room! A little while later, I was getting in the shower and found a spｉｄer that came up the drain.Ｉｑｕｉｃｋｌｙ　ｗａｓｈｅｄ　ｉｔ　ｄｏｗｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｒａｉｎ　ｓｏ　ａｓ　ｎｏｔ　ｔｏ　ｈａｖｅ　ｔｈａｔ　ｂｅｃｏｍｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｎｅｘｔ　”ｐｅｔ”

I'm kindof pathetic!

2009-01-16T16:52:00.002-05:00

Every day I read the blogs I follow and hope for new ones (as do most of you - admit it). The pathetic part for me is there is always a little let down when I get to the end of my list. It is like being 7 and getting to the end of the presents. I enjoyed the ones I opened, but am sad there are no more.
In other news, it is 14 degrees out right now. In some parts of the country that is not such a big deal, BUT I live in southeast Tennessee. That is not supposed to happen! Plus, no snow! If it is to be this cold we should have a few feet of snow. Because that would give me reason not to go anywhere. As some of you know, the south shuts down for snow. I have bread and milk, I am good! What are we supposed to do with bread and milk if we are snowing? Please tell me! I do not want toast and milk in a snowstorm, I want chili and soup and warm comfort foods but bread and milk are a must if snow is called.
Schools were canceled today due to cold weather. Does anyone else find that a bit odd? Last week, schools were closed b/c it was raining so much. Even the schools want snow days so instead they are taking what they can get! I had to get the girls out today because Wade and I still had classes. As I was getting out of bed and Wade told me how cold it was I was wondering what to do for the girls as they do not have really cold weather gear. So I improvised and let them wear jammies under their clothes. We then had to walk about 1/2 mile to meet up with the sitter. They really wanted me to drive but parking is horrible on campus so we would of had to walk further if I drove. It was a good workout b/c we walked super fast! Ok, enough rambling
I guess. I will be on the cooking blog later on posting about dinner! Have a warm and toasty evening!

It's not whether you win or lose...

2009-01-15T21:42:00.003-05:00

Somebody really needs to share this tidbit with the coach of the girls basketball team for whom Ainsley's cheers. She has a very bad attitude and it rubs off on the team. I understand that one can get excited and frustrated but especially at this age, the best lesson that can be taught is to have a good attitude. The other team's coach tonight was just as bad except that we know him and he is a member in a prominent church. That is worse! I just know that if my child were on the basketball team I would really have a problem with that kind of attitude being displayed by the adults in my child's life.

It's my 100th post!

2009-01-15T13:30:00.002-05:00

Holy cow, 100 posts - I can't believe it! I wish I had something profound to say but not so much. Classes went well yesterday but I was exhausted! I only have one class on Tues/Thurs so i ook Ainsley to school this morning then went to the gym. I came home and did the Thursday chores from my list I am trying so diligently to keep up with. Now, I want a nap and have class in about an hour. Oh well, I will get used to it! Ainsley has a game tonight so I have dinner in the crock pot. I may put this meal on the cooking blog. I have made it several times but it is so quick and easy. Ok, I convinced myself. I am going over there now to blog about it. If you want a quick, easy and yummy dinner come over here to see!

Defining Moments

Struggles

Bad blogger!

Year end review

Merry Christmas!

Renah's 7!!

These girls

Halloween 2011

Tough days

Kids- you gotts love em!

Embracing my OCD

Taking the plunge!

Amazing gel!

My 2nd daughter

She's 8!

Sum, Sum, Summertime!

Mother's Day

This may make step on some toes but I really don't mind!

Spring has sprung?

Out of the loop

Trying for inspiration

Still here

The way I see it

Snow Week 2011

Last post of 2010!

Christmas 2010

Christmas gifts

Happenings

Just keep swimming...

Veteran's Day

Trick or Treat!

Pictures and boredom

2nd try

Mackenzie Grace turns 1!

Whoosh!

3 girls?

1st day of summer!

Calendars

How bad do I stink at this?

Still here!

Blessings

Too bad I am not creative with titles...

2009 in review

Travel woes

It's beginning to look a lot like...mud I do live in Cleveland you know!

Thanksgiving

I'm still here

One year

Can't expect much on little sleep!

Mackenzie Grace

She's here!

Oops i keep forgetting to post!

Things going on

First day a few days ago

Grr

God's plan

randomness

We (finally) did it!

Just two?

Here comes the tooth fairy!

more on last post

16 and pregnant

Long week!

sisters

Ainsley's birthday

busy week if i ccan get up!

baby update

The next best thing

camping

In which my children become the family pets.

New phone

Titleless

Drum Roll please....

pink or bliue??

I feel so out of it

God is good

one down, about 100 more to go!

Dear Global Warming Scientists:

I have a confession...

I have my camera back!